Depression stole her drive to cook. Recipes like this curry brought it back.
Someone in my family once told me, “I don’t believe in depression.” It was a startling statement, insulting to those of us who have experienced depressive episodes, and my reply was quick and sharp: “Depression doesn’t require you to believe in it. It exists whether you want it to or not.”
I’m a believer, and so is Meera Sodha. The London-based cookbook author and newspaper columnist had what she calls a “breakdown” several years ago, severe enough to force her to step away from her Guardian column for a bit. Then one day her husband, Hugh, started to crack under the pressure of taking care of their baby and toddler along with his wife and himself. “He said, ‘Please, I’d really love it if you cooked me a meal,’” Sodha told me in a Zoom call from New York City, where she was on book tour.
It was all she needed to hear, and it woke her up, literally and figuratively. “I had always shown him love by cooking, and I think that’s what he needed,” she said. She went from bed to kitchen, gathered ingredients, and made her version of one of their favorite dishes, a Malaysian dal. As she felt herself returning to life, she also realized that as a professional food writer, she had been doing this cooking thing all wrong.
“I’d cooked because it was a particular season or I was working on a particular vegetable,” subjects she was tackling for her column, she said. “It’s like, what would other people like for Easter? I didn’t really think about myself.” Even her family was typically eating the results of her testing rather than, as she put it, “the types of foods I had grown up eating myself,” or what she might crave in the moment.
She paved her path back from depression with a determination to change. As she writes in her new cookbook, “I would cook for pleasure, not work. I wanted to try to become more aware of my mood and feelings and work out what I wanted to eat, and slowly but surely, like kindling catching, I started to feel the fire in my belly again.”
The orange notebook she kept in the kitchen, where she recorded thoughts about her day and her feelings — along with descriptions of dishes she made for her family — wasn’t intended to become a cookbook. Eventually, she thought, it would be a keepsake for her girls. But when her editor and agent checked in on her, she told them she was coming up for air and might have the makings of her next project.
The result, “Dinner,” is Sodha’s ode to the kind of simple family meal that rejuvenated her during and after a dark period.
I’ve always loved Sodha’s recipes — I’m particularly fond of her 2020 book, “East” — but her newfound sense of freedom comes across in “Dinner.” The recipes have a breezy, no-pressure vibe that feels like exactly what we all need in such a stressful, uncertain period. Think spicy sesame noodles with peanuts and brussels sprouts, Sichuan-style charred green beans with crumbled tofu and mushrooms, and an herby fried-egg salad.
Sodha has a way of bringing just the right fresh touches to even traditional recipes. The one I couldn’t resist sharing after I tested it is Matar Paneer, an Indian pea and paneer curry that she enriches with a cashew puree and brightens with crunchy snow peas. To add even more depth, you blister the snow peas — and some cherry tomatoes — in a skillet before building the rest of the dish.
The combination of textures and flavors makes the curry something you don’t want to stop eating, which also makes it a particularly appropriate example of Sodha’s other big message in “Dinner”: that lingering over the evening meal can help you press the reset button on a stressful day.
As someone who has also struggled to keep in touch with my own cravings and my own household cooking obligations even as I pursue new recipes for this column and for cookbooks, I adore any dish that can meet all those needs. I made the Matar Paneer for work colleagues first, then took leftovers home, where my teenage son was too occupied by his current fixation on red meat to notice them. I heated them up for my husband and myself, and over a satisfying dinner we exchanged workday recaps and brainstormed weekend plans.
Reset accomplished.
• Joe Yonan is the author of “Mastering the Art of Plant-Based Cooking” (Ten Speed Press, 2024).
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Matar Paneer
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons neutral oil, such as canola oil, avocado oil or vegetable oil, divided
4 ounces snow peas
6 ounces (1½ cups) ripe cherry tomatoes
1 large yellow onion (12 ounces), chopped
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
1 pound paneer, cut into 1-inch cubes*
One (14-ounce) can diced tomatoes
½ teaspoon fine salt, plus more as needed
1¼ cups boiling water, divided
¼ cup roasted unsalted cashews
1½ teaspoons ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon Kashmiri chili powder*
½ teaspoon ground turmeric
1 cup frozen peas
Set a large plate next to the stove.
In a large (12-inch) nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, heat 1 teaspoon of the oil until shimmering. Add the snow peas, let them crackle fiercely for 1 minute, then toss and let blister on the other side before transferring to the prepared plate. Return the pan to the heat, add another 1 teaspoon of the oil, followed by the cherry tomatoes. Cook, shaking the pan occasionally, until they blacken and blister in spots, about 2 minutes, then transfer to the plate with the snow peas.
Return the pan to the heat and reduce the heat to medium. Add the remaining 2 tablespoons of oil and heat until shimmering. Add the onion and cook, stirring frequently, until translucent, about 6 minutes. Add the garlic and ginger and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add the paneer, diced tomatoes, salt and ¾ cup of the boiling water. Stir to combine, bring to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, until the mixture thickens a little and the paneer softens slightly, about 10 minutes.
While the mixture is simmering, in a small heatproof bowl, combine the cashews and the remaining ½ cup of boiling water. Let soak for 5 minutes, then transfer the cashews and water to a blender and puree until smooth.
To the paneer mixture, add the coriander, cumin, chili powder and turmeric, and cook, stirring, until the flavors meld, about 2 minutes. Add the cashew puree and stir to combine. Return the blistered cherry tomatoes and snow peas to the pan, followed by the frozen peas, stir to incorporate and bring to a simmer. Cook until the vegetables are heated through, about 2 minutes. Taste, and season with more salt, if desired.
Divide among bowls and serve hot with your choice of rice and/or naan, chapatis or another flatbread.
Servings: 4 (makes about 7 cups)
* Where to buy: Paneer can be found at well-stocked supermarkets and Indian markets. Kashmiri chili powder can be found at Indian markets and online. Substitutions: For cashews, use peanuts or almonds. For snow peas, use snap peas. For cherry tomatoes, use grape tomatoes. To make it vegan, use extra-firm or firm tofu instead of paneer. For diced tomatoes, use crushed tomatoes. For Kashmiri chili powder, use ¾ teaspoon chili powder or ground ancho chiles plus ¼ teaspoon ground cayenne. For less heat, decrease the amount of Kashmiri chili or omit.
Nutritional information per serving (1¾ cups): 584 calories, 40 g fat, 20 g saturated fat, 30 g carbohydrates, 530 mg sodium, 94 mg cholesterol, 29 g protein, 7 g fiber, 14 g sugar.
— Adapted from “Dinner” by Meera Sodha (Flatiron Books, 2025).