I took a break from cooking for my family, so I made myself a sandwich

A few weeks ago, I complained about the reception I got from my family when I went to the trouble to make arancini, the classic Italian stuffed and fried rice balls. To recap, I found their reaction lacking, and I mused about how it led me to realize I needed to have more dinner parties, where friends would surely appreciate the effort.

That hasn’t happened. What did happen is that I went on a bit of a cooking strike. My silent protest happened partly because I was so tired of cooking foods for my husband and teenager that I don’t even eat myself (please, save me from all the chicken wings) and partly because I was so tired of cooking for someone (the teenager, not the husband) who goes to extreme lengths to avoid cleanup duty.

I was also tired of putting my own needs last. Once, when the teenager asked for ground-beef tacos and the husband asked for ground-turkey tacos (he doesn’t eat beef), I simultaneously cooked them in separate pans. When my husband saw that I was eating leftovers instead of tacos, he asked me why I hadn’t made myself some beans. “Because I can’t cook three things at once!” I cried, possibly a bit too loudly.

Taking a cue from cookbook author Meera Sodha, I tried following my own cravings when making dinnertime decisions. That meant the meat, poultry or seafood stayed in the freezer while I whipped up Tofu Cottage Cheese or Rice Salad With Greens and Beans, unless another member of my household stepped up to defrost and cook it.

Something about all this felt comfortably familiar, and that’s because I spent so many years feeding myself and myself alone, and writing about it. So why not look through some of my old “Cooking for One” recipes for inspiration? I knew plenty of readers appreciate downsized meal ideas, too.

When a colleague told me which ones had been her favorites, I knew what I’d do: I’d turn one of them vegetarian. The sandwich she mentioned had been one of my go-tos for so long because of the wonderfully complex flavors and textures that resulted when I combined a few choice ingredients: smoked trout, Granny Smith apple, aged Gouda and pumpernickel bread. Honestly, the update was almost embarrassingly easy and effective, a mere swap of thinly sliced smoked tofu for that fish. After one bite, I remembered just what had made that sandwich such a standby so many years ago.

When extolling the virtues of cooking for yourself, I used to frequently take aim at the commonly expressed sentiment of, “Why would I go to all that trouble if it’s just me?” First of all, you’re the most important person there is to cook for. Second of all, a recipe like this shows that it doesn’t need to be “all that trouble” in the slightest.

As I continued with my recent cooking strike and kept focusing more on feeding myself than everybody else, I also recalled how I used to make a comparison to one aspect of the safety instructions flight attendants give. Put your own oxygen mask on before helping others with theirs.

Sure enough, as dependably as oxygen flowing through a tube, the more I started taking care of myself, the more I started wanting to take care of the husband and teenager, too. I went back into the kitchen and made enough vegetarian pasta for everybody. The teenager ate it — along with chicken wings my husband air-fried — after we went to bed, in his typical fashion. My husband, meanwhile, went on and on about how much he loved and appreciated the pasta.

Mission accomplished.

• Joe Yonan is the author of “Mastering the Art of Plant-Based Cooking” (Ten Speed Press, 2024).

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Smoked Tofu, Apple and Gouda Sandwich

1 tablespoon mayonnaise

2 slices pumpernickel bread

2 ounces smoked tofu, thinly sliced

1 ounce aged Gouda, thinly sliced

½ small tart or sweet-tart apple, such as Granny Smith or Golden Delicious, stemmed, cored and thinly sliced (2 ounces)

A few leaves baby arugula

Spread the mayonnaise on one side of both pieces of bread. Mound or layer the tofu on one of the bread slices, top with the Gouda, then the apple and the arugula or spinach leaves. Top with the other slice of bread, cut in half and serve.

Servings: 1 (makes 1 sandwich)

Substitutions: To make it vegan, use vegan mayonnaise and vegan Gouda-style cheese. Gluten-free? Use gluten-free bread. For apple, use pear. For pumpernickel bread, use rye bread. For arugula, use baby spinach or lettuce.

Nutritional information per sandwich: 498 calories, 26 g fat, 8 g saturated fat, 42 g carbohydrates, 981 mg sodium, 38 mg cholesterol, 24 g protein, 6 g fiber, 16 g sugar.

— Joe Yonan.