Naperville Walk to Remember on Oct. 14 lets bereaved parents honor, connect

The pain of pregnancy loss or neonatal loss - and the world-upending heartache of not being able to take one's baby home from the hospital - can make for especially isolating grief. Family and friends, often unsure how to respond to parents in mourning, can wind up making comments that are unhelpful at best, only making bereaved parents' sense of loneliness more acute.

Kelly Moran of Naperville knows such isolation. She and her husband, Tom Ear, lost their son Owen Matthew Ear in January 2021 when he was stillborn 38 weeks into Kelly's pregnancy.

"You just feel so alone," Moran said. "Especially in those first few days, you don't even know what to do."

Two weeks after Owen's death, Kelly and Tom connected with what would become an invaluable resource as they navigated their grief: Edward-Elmhurst Health's chapter of SHARE, a national support group for families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss. Meeting (via Zoom, at the time) with other loss parents meant the opportunity to connect with "a bunch of other people who knew exactly how (this grief) felt," Moran said.

"It's just a wonderful group of people," she said. "It's a community that you don't want to be a part of, but the connections I've had with people have been deeper than really anything I've experienced before."

Now, driven by a desire to advocate for a group that has meant so much to her family, Moran serves as a co-chair of Edward-Elmhurst's SHARE Walk to Remember, an annual event for loss families that takes place in October as part of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Edward-Elmhurst's SHARE Walk will step off from Naperville's Riverwalk Grand Pavilion at 10:15 a.m. Saturday, Oct. 14, following a 9:30 a.m. memorial service at the pavilion. The walk winds approximately 1 mile through the Riverwalk.

Last year's Naperville Walk to Remember drew around 1,000 people, including not only loss parents but also siblings, grandparents, extended family and friends. "I really felt very moved there and thought it was such a special event," says Moran, who also is parent to Oliver, 6, and Chloe, 1. "As you get farther along after a loss, it gets harder to try to parent your child. This is a way I get to do it."

At the walk, "We celebrate Owen," she adds. "It's one day that's for him."

The SHARE Walk to Remember serves as the primary annual fundraiser for Edward-Elmhurst's SHARE program, which also encompasses Sharing H.O.P.E. (Having Optimistic Pregnancy Expectations), a support group for loss families that are considering or journeying through a subsequent pregnancy.

Proceeds from this year's Walk will support SHARE's counseling services, physician/staff bereavement training; and Edward Hospital's Wings of Hope Angel Garden.

In addition, a portion of the funds raised at this year's walk will be directed toward the construction of a bereavement room at Edward Hospital. The room will be located apart from the hospital's Mother-Baby and Labor & Delivery units to provide a dedicated space for families grieving a recent loss.

The Walk to Remember is free to attend and welcomes all area families that have experienced pregnancy/neonatal loss, regardless of where or when their loss occurred. The 9:30 a.m. memorial service includes remarks from SHARE families and from Sue Villa, perinatal bereavement coordinator at Edward-Elmhurst Health, as well as special music and a reading of babies' names.

Families can pre-register for the walk, make a donation and/or create a fundraising page at eehealth.ejoinme.org/2023ShareWalk. Day-of registration also is available beginning at 8:30 a.m. at the Riverwalk Grand Pavilion, 912 Honorary Sindt Memorial Court in Naperville.

While the walk serves as a remembrance for loss families, Moran emphasizes that it is a family-friendly, group-embracing event, with crafts and activities available for children and opportunities to learn more about Edward-Elmhurst's SHARE group, which meets at Edward Hospital the second Thursday of each month and online the fourth Thursday of each month.

Moran encourages loss families who haven't yet experienced a SHARE Walk to Remember to be a part of this year's event.

"You will find just this wonderful community of caring, kind and supportive individuals," Moran said. "You can meet people in all different areas of their grief and find someone who can make you feel less alone."