Women start social club for the forgotten midlife singles

It's not easy being single in the suburbs and being a single of "a certain age" is even tougher.

Crystal Lake Realtor Jean Steffans and her friend Kathie Kory, a hairdresser and small business office manager from Island Lake, knew all about it.

The two would travel to singles events throughout the region and found themselves driving back late from dances in Cook County, DuPage County and even Milwaukee.

"There was nothing closer for us. Everything was either for younger people or seniors -- but nothing for those of us who fall in the middle," said Steffans, 54.

"Even if you did meet someone, it was hard to date them, being so far away," added Kory, 58.

Four years ago, Steffans decided to do something about it. She launched a local singles group known as Just For Kicks, which held dances throughout the area. It ran for about a year and a half, and then Steffans and her friends returned to their long-distance driving routine. But frequently they ran into former Just For Kicks regulars who missed singles activities close to home.

Steffans started to try her hand at another singles group, but this time with a broader focus.

"We would still have dances, but other activities, too," she said.

Steffans' Baby Boomer Singles Club started in November 2007. Twice a month, the club holds dances at local venues. Other events include restaurant and theater outings, sporting events, music clubs and golf (once warmer weather arrives).

The group is for singles ages 45 and over, and primarily attracts people who live in McHenry and Kane counties.

There are no membership fees, only charges for events, such as a $10 admission to the American Legion dances. Dress is business casual, with no jeans or gym shoes.

Steffans compares the dances to a relaxed house party or wedding reception, where the disc jockey encourages everyone to participate through line dances, snowball dances, ladies choice and sock-hop staples like the stroll.

"Everyone could identify with that (the sock-hop) era, and what's neat is that you work your way down the line (of dancers) so you have a new partner each time," Steffans said. "When the D.J. played it (the 1957 hit 'The Stroll') at the last dance, everyone had so much fun, we asked him to play it four more times."

The evenings begin with a free dance lesson by a professional instructor, which helps non-dancers to feel less awkward.

"At our first dance, I went up to a group of men who were just standing by the bar. They said they weren't dancing because they didn't know how. So I saw a need for this," Steffans said. "It's no fun to go to something if you don't know how to participate. This makes it easier for everyone to have a good time."

Steffans said women frequently come to the dances alone. For Kathie Kory, the comfortable environment at the BBSC is a welcome relief from other singles events she's attended.

"It's not a pick-up kind of place, where you feel like you're on display," Kory said. "If I want to dance, I can ask someone, rather than waiting for someone to ask me."

Kory hasn't met anyone yet, but says that's not her primary reason for coming.

"I just love to dance. This is a fun group of people my age, and I'm not sitting at home."

Doug Groh, 54, a printer from Crystal Lake, met his steady girlfriend at a Just for Kicks event in 2003, but the couple have been at each BBSC dance as a way to socialize with others their age.

"You go out to a bar and everyone's under 30," said Groh. "There aren't a lot of places for people over 40 to meet each other. We just enjoy making new friends and learning new dances."

"There are so many single people out there and such a need for this," Steffans said.

"I get e-mails from people asking me 'Am I too old?' or 'What if I can't dance?' I tell them, just come, even if you don't know a single step of the cha-cha."

For information, visit www.babyboomersingles club.com.

Baby Boomer Singles Club

What: A singles club for people 40 and older in the Fox Valley, offering dances and other social events

When and where: Next event is a singles dance, from 8 to 11:30 p.m. today at the Milk Pail, on Route 25 in East Dundee

Cost: No membership dues, but there is a charge to attend dances and events

Info: www.babyboomersinglesclub.com or call Jean Steffans at (815) 529-8138