Worst criminals highlight best Fox Valley police blotter

At the end of each year, we always gather together some of the more humorous items we have obtained throughout the year from police reports.

This year's wacky happenings in the police are not quite as funny as some from years past.

There were no drunk Chihuahuas, no moviegoers passing gas and no air conditioners falling on cars.

However, we hope you enjoy these.

How they were caught

• The robber got the purse he wanted on Jan. 3, but the cops soon got him. After the 18-year-old snatched a purse in an Elgin parking lot, a witness noticed what happened and began chasing him. The offender lost his credit card during the pursuit and arrived home only a few steps before the police got there.

• In November, a man was called in to the South Elgin Police Department to be interviewed about a counterfeit bill that was recovered. The man appeared ruffled when police told him why he was there. Then he blurted out, "Oh, I thought I was here to be questioned about the dope in my safe."

• South Elgin police stopped a 23-year-old driver on Jan. 16 for driving 16 miles an hour over the speed limit. He immediately jumped out of his car, threw up his hands in the air and yelled, "I have no driver's license and I am an illegal immigrant."

• When Elgin police caught a teen driving on the sidewalk in the early morning hours of June 9, they said she was multi-tasking. She was driving on the sidewalk while she attempted to eat a sandwich and drink a soft drink. She was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol and unlawful consumption of alcohol.

• Sleepy Hollow police charged a 37-year-old Gilberts man with two counts of DUI, driving while license revoked, improper lane usage, illegal transportation of alcohol and failure to wear a seat belt. His arrest on Sept. 8 was a no-brainer. He was driving through town drinking a can of beer with the top down on his SUV convertible in the pouring rain.

• Sleepy Hollow police did a well-being check on two roommates at 3:15 a.m. on Nov. 20. Both appeared intoxicated. After the police left, there must have been a fight between the two because the police were called back to the home 45 minutes later. One reported that his roommate was wanted on a LaSalle County warrant for possession of marijuana.

• He just couldn't quit playing doctor. A 47-year-old Elgin resident without a medical license was arrested on Dec. 17 after he diagnosed an undercover cop with two blood clots in his head. The same man had been arrested in Gilberts in 2004 for practicing medicine without a license when it was discovered he had an office there with a waiting room, examination room and storage room for medications.

What Happened?

• In April, a witness saw a man with a knife chasing another man down the hallway of an Elgin public housing building. The pursuer was yelling, "I'll kill you, I'll kill you." No one got killed, though. The man being chased accepted $125 from the other to purchase a television set. However, the money was used to buy drugs.

• Burglars encountered a double whammy at an Elgin tire business on May 5. First, they broke a window about 15 feet off the ground and discovered they couldn't enter the building because a floor-to-ceiling rack of wheels had been placed in front of it. Second, they had to leave their ladder behind because the burglar alarm was making too much noise.

• The residents of a home on the 100 block of Center Street in Elgin left their home without locking their door on May 13 to go across the street for a meal at a fast-food restaurant. While they were gone, a burglar entered their home and stole a Play Station 2, two video games, a cell phone, six DVDs and a key to their door. When the residents arrived home, they found their door was locked. The burglar had locked it for them.

• During the evening of June 19, pedestrians along Summit Street in Elgin saw police cars chasing a cab. The 44-year-old cabdriver sold a buyer 28.8 grams of cocaine and when he realized the buyer was an undercover police officer, he ran over the officer's left foot. Then the cabdriver drove head-on into a van --- the police van that was there to take him to jail. The cabdriver appeared at bond call the next day. His mouth was wired shut at the hospital from the injury he incurred running into the police van.

• On June 25, a 57-year-old Carol Stream woman accomplished what many people would consider impossible. On the same day, she drove away from two gas pumps at the same gas station in Elgin with the gas nozzles still in her car. She was charged with damage to property.

• A police dog and its trainer were called to a Carpentersville parking lot wrestling match involving three police officers and two offenders. One offender and the trainer were sent to hospitals for dog bites on their legs. The police explanation for the bites? "The dog probably saw so many legs in the fracas, it became confused."

• On Nov. 13, a 27-year-old Elgin man was arrested after he sold 11.1 grams of cocaine for two video games and $700. The drop-off spot was unique; it was the air vent outside of his apartment. The buyer was unique too; it was an undercover Elgin police officer.

• On Dec. 19, a 20-year-old Elgin man in Elgin Branch Court learned he would have to spend three days in the Kane County jail. Shortly after, court personnel saw him place a small baggie in his mouth. After he spit it out, they learned the substance was marijuana. Why did the guy have to come to court? He had been charged with possession of marijuana.

Newspapers make mistakes, too

• In April, a local newspaper named a police officer as its valued customer. The officer was told by comrades that he had received the honor because the newspaper wasn't delivered to his home that day.

• On April 4, a typo was made in the Daily Herald about a drunken driving incident that caused quite a few readers to sit up, take notice and call the newspaper. It read, "The driver was pulled over after he was seen driving 15 miles below the peed limit and weaving in and out of traffic lanes."