Women nearly killed by husbands form bond

The very first time Carolyn Cox heard the name Gloria Johncours, and weeks before they met, she knew they already had a bond.

It was a bond built on shared experiences of betrayal and abuse, of pain and confusion, of near-fatal assaults and miraculous recoveries.

One that has helped them through physical suffering and emotional anguish, bouts of uncertainty and months of legal proceedings.

One centered around their membership in an exclusive club no one wants to join: survivors of violent attempts on their lives at the hands of husbands of more than 40 years.

Today, it's a bond the McHenry County women hope to use to help others avoid the circumstances that brought them together.

Cox first heard the name Gloria Johncours April 2, 2007, the day Johncours' ex-husband shot her in the head during a car chase through a Lake in the Hills neighborhood.

As Johncours, of Lake in the Hills, was being airlifted away from the shooting scene, Cox was sitting at the McHenry County courthouse while her husband was on trial on charges he had tried to kill her in September 2004.

A prominent McHenry County businessman, Billy J. Cox ultimately was found guilty of allegations he viciously beat his wife in their home, then locked her in a garage alongside two running vehicles. He is serving a 20-year prison sentence.

When someone told Cox that afternoon of a woman fighting for her life as Cox had 2½ years earlier, she decided she needed to reach out to that woman.

"Somewhere along the way I decided I have to do something," said Cox, a former schoolteacher who with her husband built a multimillion-dollar company in McHenry County. "I thought I could help."

Weeks later, after phone conversations with nurses, family members and finally Johncours herself, Cox stood at Johncours' hospital bedside. The connection was instantaneous.

"It was a feeling that we weren't alone," Cox said.

"It was fabulous," said Johncours, a former school bus driver who was just starting a new career in real estate when the shooting happened. "I had no qualms about meeting her."

Since that first meeting, the women have become close friends. They talk regularly, appear together at anti-domestic violence events and fundraisers, and most of all, lend one another support.

When a judge sentenced Johncours' former husband last week to 31 years in prison for her attempted murder, Cox was alongside her in a McHenry County courtroom.

A few days later, Johncours was in court to support Cox as a judge finalized her divorce.

"It's just good to know you have someone back there for you," Cox said.

Asked what Cox understands about her situation that others cannot, Johncours replies, "Everything."

"Even though there were different circumstances, we had both been through this experience and survived it," she said.

Now, with their court cases largely behind them, both women are focusing their attention on helping others who may be in abusive situations wrongly believing -- as they wrongly believed -- that things would get better.

Johncours, 62, plans to take her story to state lawmakers, pushing for legislation to strengthen enforcement of protective orders and increasing penalties for anyone convicted of domestic battery more than once.

"With a second offense, it's automatic jail time," she said. "There should be no option."

Cox, 66, has become an in-demand speaker at anti-domestic violence events, hoping her story will lead other women to leave abusive situations. In coming weeks, she plans to launch a Web site sharing her experiences and raising funds for anti-violence initiatives.

"We can't sweep this under the rug," Cox said. "I survived and she survived, and because of that I feel there's a certain responsibility that we have."