Coach: Playing time - the golden goose in sports

Through my years of coaching and conducting sports programs and teams, I don't think I have come across a more sensitive or controversial topic than playing time. Who gets it, who doesn't and how much are always topics for discussion - and often much angst.

I bring this up now as holidays subside and the return to school beckons, and most of the winter sports' seasons have reached their midway point. For many athletes the reality of where they stand in the hierarchy of playing time is starting to settle in. For some, game time or minutes played may not be what they were hoping for at the beginning of the season, and the disappointment starts to settle in.

So in our first 2023 column, we address an issue near and dear to the hearts of every athlete, the golden goose in sports: playing time.

Let me put it this way. I have found over the years that when it comes to an athlete's experience with a team or program, playing time is, without a doubt, the single most critical factor to what we'll call "job satisfaction."

Yes, of course, winning or losing are huge factors in the overall experience, as is the relationship with one's teammates, the overall attitude of the coaching staff, and the feel and culture around the team.

But when it comes down to it, playing time is still the biggest influence on one's sporting experience.

Everyone wants to play. It is only natural, especially considering how much time, effort and even money have been put into an athlete's sports background these days. Many high school athletes have been competing in their chosen sport since as early as 6, 7, or 8 years old. Along the way they have spent countless hours practicing on their own, working with personal trainers, playing for travel teams, and attending endless practices.

It is all supposed to pay off in those cherished high school years, which makes it even more painful for those kids (and parents) who aren't currently getting the playing time they feel they deserve.

For coaches it is one of the greatest dilemmas. All coaches want to win, but as educators and teachers, where do they draw the line between getting a large number of kids experience and quality playing time vs. a desire to win and playing just the better athletes? It's a tough call for sure, and one with no easy answers.

A couple of items to recognize:

Often, athletes might have been one of the best players, maybe even the star, in middle school and on youth travel teams, but now, four years later - playing with many of the same kids they once were superior to - they find themselves relegated to the bench playing a more limited substitute role. This is a tough one for some kids to handle, and maybe even more difficult for their parents to comprehend.

Another issue, especially in recent years, is the rapid development of younger players. In high school now it is not uncommon to have freshmen and sophomores starting on varsity teams. These young stars often have had extensive travel experience against top-level competition, and when they enter high school sports they are ready for "the big time" (varsity) right from the get-go.

The problem, though, is often the younger players are taking spots of seniors who have worked their way up and figure this is their year. But instead the seniors sit while the younger players get that valued playing time. It can be a frustrating situation.

So, what to do if you find yourself not playing as much as you think you deserve while there is still a large chunk of the season left?

No miracle solutions offered here, because there are no easy answers. But recently I came across a letter I wrote to a family member (not my kids) who was experiencing exactly what I reference above. His sport was basketball, but the advice could apply to literally any sport at any age level.

Maybe it could help. Here is what I wrote:

Charlie (name changed to protect the innocent), I know things are kind of frustrating right now and I know you are disappointed you're not getting to play more, so I thought I would put down some ideas I thought might help to get you to play more.

1) Don't be afraid to talk to the coaches. Always at the appropriate time, and always in an appropriate way. But let them know how you feel. Of course, never talk down a fellow teammate, but instead let the coach know you want to do whatever you can to get to play more. Most coaches will appreciate the one-on-one conversation and will give you honest answers and, if done the right way, can maybe help you get to play more (assuming you have been doing what is described in No. 2 below).

2) Be the hardest working and most spirited player in both practice and games. Max out on every drill and do even the little things to perfection. That attention to detail can influence. Be the first one in the gym for practice and the last to leave. Go all out in every conditioning drill, be vocal at practice and communicate on the court as a senior leader should. During games - even if you are not getting in like you would like - remain a positive force, encouraging and talking to teammates, supporting them at all times and being a spirited participant.

3) MOST IMPORTANT: And this is key! Do NOT develop a "substitute's mentality." Do not start thinking of yourself as simply a reserve. It is a subtle and very easy trap to fall into, but one you must fight against with voracity.

I've seen it so many times. A confident, quality player who has been relegated to the bench starts to take a back seat and not playing or practicing at their best, thinking they are just a backup player. Their body language and effort start to wane, and the downhill slide begins.

You need to fight against that. Your body language at practice should be great and confident. Play and practice like you belong with the starters. Don't take a back seat, and don't fall into that "I'm just a reserve" mentality.

Bottom line? You have put in the time and work. I know it is difficult not getting to play as much as you think you should, but hang in there and, as the Journey song famously says, "don't stop believing."

A quote I often refer back to: "Good things happen to those who wait - if you work like hell, while you wait."

This is definitely a hot-button topic. If any readers have thoughts, ideas, opinions, past experiences on the issue of playing time and how kids, parents and coaches can handle it better, email me at the address below. In a later column we may revisit and print some of the suggestions.

• Jon Cohn of Glenview is a coach, retired PE teacher, sports official and prep sports fan. To contact him with comments or story ideas, email jcsportsandtees@aol.com.