Preserving a child's memory safely

They are a curious sight, collections of candles, teddy bears, letters and photos off the side of the road. A white cross often stands as the centerpiece.

The impromptu displays of grief are reminders of young lives cut short. To the families and friends of crash victims, these places are sacred.

Over the years, roadside memorials have dotted suburban roadways. Friends and family members of victims - most often children or teens - set them up sometimes within hours of a tragic crash.

Those who lose a child may feel no one else can understand the depth of their sorrow. They want the memory of their child to live, and a visual reminder in public enables that. Some parents even keep the memorial sites tidy, replacing items worn by weather and adding fresh flowers.

But at some point should the memorials be removed? They have been known to remain for months, even years. Most passers-by simply recognize them as shrines for someone they don't know. But because of their unusualness, some drivers may become distracted trying to get a look. And the danger is obvious when loved ones visit the sites, which can be just a few feet away from cars whizzing by at high speeds.

The village of Wauconda is offering a solution we believe can satisfy a family's desire to preserve memories and the need for public safety. Families of victims can purchase a tree the village will plant along with a marker on village property. As village official David Geary said, a tree is "something that represents life and lives on."

Roadside memorials will be allowed to remain until a funeral is held or seven days after the crash, whichever comes first. Wauconda's new policy is a dignified way for a community to show compassion while maintaining safety, and we urge other towns to adopt similar measures.

The state already has. Its Roadside Memorial Marker Program allows a sign to be placed at crash sites along state roads to honor those killed by drunken drivers. The first was installed two years ago on Route 72 near Gilberts, where a Larkin High School student was killed. The blue and white marker reads, "Please Don't Drink and Drive: In Memory of Caitlin E. Weese, May 22, 2003."

We've seen other respectful and positive efforts. Some families create scholarship funds at the high schools their teen attended, and others plan events in the child's name, like 5K walks or fundraisers for charities. Hoffman Estates has established a children's memorial site outside its village hall where families can have their child's name etched on a brick. At a site near Wheaton, a sidewalk was installed with a plaque where a bicyclist was hit by a car and killed. In Fox River Grove, a plaque stands next to the rail crossing where seven schoolchildren lost their lives.

This is a tender issue that requires delicate negotiations. Experts have said the memorials can be an important part of the grieving process. We believe creative solutions can be found as families work with villages and other organizations to preserve the memories of very special people.