Coach: Our annual Summer Bracket Buster Tournament!
OK, here we go again: Time for the highly anticipated, incredibly unscientific Coach's Corner annual Summer Bracket Buster contest, where we play off the top 16 summertime sporting activities to see which ones make the Final Four and, ultimately, climbs the prestigious mountain to claim the coveted No. 1 spot.
Remember, any of these 16 sports can be proud just to have made the round of 16, and furthermore, all disputes, disagreements, arguments and controversies regarding decisions made may be sent to a special email designed specifically for this contest: notgoingtomatter@noshot.com
Getting a response to your email, by the way, has about as much chance as a turkey does at Thanksgiving dinner. But if venting makes you feel better, by all means - have at it.
Onward! Allons-y!
Round 1
Soccer vs. Sand Volleyball: Not much of a contest here. Love soccer, one of my favorite sports, but the heat of summer and the amount of running required for this sport relegates it to temporary second citizen status. Sand or beach volleyball is a true summer game, gaining in popularity, loved by the younger generation and, thus, rolls easily to a round one victory.
Pickleball vs. Lacrosse: Interesting matchup. Lacrosse, like soccer, is more of a spring or fall sport. But if you drive around neighborhoods in the summer, you are apt to see more and more kids out on the front lawn flinging the lacrosse ball around from stick to stick. It is getting that popular with the young kids. In a mild upset, lacrosse defeats the pickleball fanatics. Part of the pickleball problem? You can't find a court to play!
Golf vs. Basketball: Why is basketball listed in the summertime bracket? Because the number of tournaments, camps and clinics have made this truly a year-round sport. But hoops is no match for the powerful golf lobby. Come summertime, golf love is off the charts. The unwavering allegiance to this frustrating game continues to amaze me, but nevertheless, golf easily advances here.
Bowling vs. Swimming: Another easy round 1 victory, as swimming marches confidently to the Elite 8. Bowling is popular in the summer. The air conditioning on hot days proves a welcome respite. But still the 10 pin is no match for the cool, carefree refreshingness of a dip into any one of our local pools.
Skateboarding vs. Baseball: Another unique matchup and, yes, we have our first big upset! Who woulda thunk it? Skateboarding advances! Understood, baseball is still America's national pastime, but for purposes of this contest I am calling it "passed time." A new sport has taken over, and the skateboarders are everywhere-- not just the regulated skateboard parks our communities have built but, really, they perfect their craft anywhere there is a bench, steps, railings, street curb or raised monument of any kind. Skateboarders? On to the Elite Eight!
Running/jogging vs Adult Softball Leagues: Baseball may go down in defeat, but not so for softball. Many do not realize how entrenched the game of softball is in our suburban communities, with the many that spend summer evenings on the diamonds. It may not be quite the intensity of its height of popularity in the 70s and 80s, but no matter. A large number of people play and enjoy the recreational game. Summer runners, we love you, but someone has to take the fall, and the joggers sadly are out in Round 1.
Bicycling vs. Badminton: No Lo Contesto! Bicycling is a summer staple and enjoyed by thousands of our suburban cyclists. The wind blowing in your face on a warm summer day, while you get a nice cardiovascular workout with family and friends in tow cannot be beat. Badminton? You are a wonderful summer backyard game, but in this bracket contest, you're in over your head.
Disc Golf vs Tennis: Wait? What is disc golf doing in the tournament? Even further, what the heck is disc golf? Hop aboard, my friends, as this game involving throwing a Frisbee into targets on a golf course is gaining in popularity, fueled primarily by the younger generation. There are numerous courses now in the suburban area (Keller Park in Deerfield and Fink Park in Highland among them), and growing numbers of young players are discovering this unique sport. In maybe the biggest upset of Round 1, disc golf surges ahead of the "been there, done that" game of tennis with a shocking victory.
Round 2: The Elite 8
Sand volleyball vs. Lacrosse: Two Round 1 winners, but there's really no challenge here. The beach and sand volleyball contingent is just too strong, and their players and athletes are just having too much fun to be stopped now. Beach volleyball advances to the coveted Final Four, while lacrosse goes down in defeat. But not to worry, crossed sticks: We shall meet again next spring.
Golf vs. Swimming: Wow. A colossal Round 2 match up. How do you call this one between two of the true behemoths of summer recreation? In a super close battle right down to the wire, we are giving it to the golfers, as they are much more serious about their sport than the beloved swimmers, most of whom are just in it for the fun of a cool dip and splash.
Skateboarding vs. Adult Softball Leagues: Another good matchup, featuring the young (guess which) and the older (think less dangerous). Skateboarding hangs tough early, but can't last and finish with the underrated power of adult softball leagues. Co-rec leagues, women's leagues, men's leagues and the new powerful coalition of age 50 and over "senior softball" makes the difference here.
Bicycling vs. Disc Golf: The disc golf Cinderella story comes to an end. A nice run for this increasingly popularity sport, but no way it can compete with the summer staple that is bicycling. To note: so many great bicycle trails in the northern suburbs all the way to downtown Chicago.
The Final Four
Sand Volleyball vs Golf: Back and forth they go. As even a matchup as you can get. In the end? The youth and athleticism of beach volleyball sends the disgruntled golfer's home. (note: golfers not happy with this result, please refer to email at the beginning of this column)
Bicycling vs Adult Softball: A great, and surprising, run for the underrated power of adult softball leagues in the summer. But, alas, all good things must come to an end, and so it is for our somewhat aged softball fanatics. Maybe one swing too many, as bicycling pedals on to the championship!
The Final
Sand Volleyball vs Bicycling: A classic duel for our best in summer sports championship, with both worthy of raising the trophy. You could go either way here, but in a mild upset, driven by its fast rising popularity and again, amazing athleticism required, the youthful beach volleyball contingent edges out the bicyclers with a dramatic victory.
And the winner is ...
Beach volleyball! Step to the podium. You are our champion!
... you may now return to your regularly scheduled newspaper reading.
Correction
In last week's column about Danny Jesselson and One Shining Moment, the contact email should have been osmsports@gmail.com.
• Jon Cohn of Glenview is a coach, retired PE teacher, sports official and prep sports fan. To contact him with comments or story ideas, email jcsportsandtees@aol.com.