Supporting the 'grands'

Every day, people feed, bath, and clothe their children. They get them ready for school and take them to dance class. They help them with their homework, play games, read stories, and tuck them in at night.

This sounds like a typical day in the life of a parent. However, nowadays, it is also a common reflection of a grandparent's life.

"Nationally, there are 2.4 million grandparents who are responsible for most of the basic needs of one or more of their grandchildren who live with them," said Linda Waycie, outreach coordinator of Children's Home + Aid, a social service agency.

"The state of Illinois has 103,717 grandparents reporting they are responsible for their grandchildren living with them," she said, citing Census Bureau statistics.

To address this, Children's Home + Aid, along with sponsors, such as Catholic Charities, runs the Grandparents as Caregivers program. Catholic Charities' Northwest Senior Services also helps facilitate the program.

"Grandparents raising grandchildren often do not identify with being part of a larger group of grandparent caregivers," said Sheryl Madden-Pitter, a Catholic Charities' caregiver specialist. "They often do not know other grandparents raising grandchildren with whom they can relate common experiences. They have limited time to remove themselves from their caregiver responsibilities and may neglect their own needs for support, which actually enhances their care-giving abilities.

"They also face unique legal challenges in attempting to enroll a child in school, obtain health care, or receive financial support in raising a grandchild," she added.

The Grandparents as Caregivers group utilizes speakers, presentations, and materials to help in these and other areas. The sessions cover topics that are of immediate concern for grandparent caregivers. They include issues such as children's fears, grieving, rejection, technology, homework, behavioral issues, picky eaters, and general assistance.

"Sometimes we survey the group to see what topics they would like to have covered in future meetings," Waycie said. "However, perhaps the greatest value of the group is that those attending can share their common experiences."

That's meant a great deal to Camille Lombardo, 57, of Glenview, who has been attending the sessions since January. Lombardo happily helps her son, who lives at home, raise his daughters Frankie, 9, and Sofia, 5.

"It really helps to get feedback from people in the group," said Lombardo. "It's nice just to have conversation among adults who are in the same position, who can tell stories and laugh about them."

Lombardo was about to embark on a part-time job, until she learned she would have to help with Frankie and Sofia. Now, her days are filled with caring for them, planning their activities, and signing them up for dance.

"My biggest challenge is that I have to think about what I do or say because I am not the mother and father," she said. "I have to make sure I am on the same page as them and we have the same goals for the children."

Camille's husband, Jay Lombardo, pitches in where he can, and enjoys his time with the children.

"There is a financial impact," said Jay. "It was just her and I for a while. Now, we have a grocery bill for six instead of two, and ballet and tap dance lesson fees."

John Ahrendt, 63, of Schaumburg has participated in the group for a couple of years. He feels the group has helped him care for his grandchild, Zachary, 11.

He said the sessions on healthy eating helped him. "Some children eat too much and some not enough. Ours doesn't eat much," Ahrendt said.

Ahrendt said he in turn helped the group on one occasion when he explained the process for applying for guardianship in Cook County.

Raising his grandson has affected Ahrendt's retirement years. He now has to base everything on a school calendar again when it comes to vacations, or going south during the cold Illinois' winters.

"We end up doing and seeing things comparable with an 11-year-old," said Ahrendt. "We listen to music and see movies we normally wouldn't. When we travel, it's a mix of half adult and half family activities."

Grandparents as Caregivers is held once a month in Schaumburg, Mount Prospect and Park Ridge. Sessions run about 90 minutes and, with the exception of the Park Ridge location, day care is provided. There are no fees and no registration required. The group averages about 10 people, in the 50 to 60 age range. They are caregivers for newborns to 14-year-olds. Attendees include grandparents of different levels of care.

"There are two spectrums. On the one side, there are the grandparents who baby-sit after school. On the other spectrum, you have those who have full guardianship. There are also those who deal with their adult child moving back home," said Waycie.

Betty Obiazi, 54, of Wheeling has sole guardianship of her 4-year-old grandchild, Aaron. She knows the value of Grandparents as Caregivers.

"It's tough, sometimes," Obiazi said. "I reached out to Wheeling Township for help, and as I was about to go into tears, I saw part of a pamphlet that read, 'Grandparents.' I picked it up and read about this class. It was a godsend."

Support is out there

• Blackwell School, 435 Walnut Lane, Schaumburg. Meets 10-11:30 a.m. first Monday of the month; free childcare

• Euclid School, 1211 Wheeling Road, Mount Prospect Meets 7-8:30 p.m. second Thursday of the month; free childcare

• Maine Township Office, 1700 Ballard Road, Park Ridge. Meets 10-11 a.m. second Tuesday of the month; no child care