Be my valentine -- forever

When it was time for Patrick Keane to propose to his girlfriend in 1991, the young Marine had a plan.

Patrick and Sonja had been dating for about six months and had known one another growing up on Chicago's North Side, but went their separate ways after high school. He joined the Marines; she went to college. But they reconnected in the summer of 1990, and spent a romantic Christmas holiday together that winter.

Patrick knew Sonja was the one. Stationed in California, he planned to return to Chicago for Valentine's Day to pop the question. Unfortunately, Uncle Sam had other ideas.

"This was during the buildup to Desert Storm, and orders came through that no one on active duty could travel after Feb. 1. So that meant I couldn't come to Chicago," he recalled.

Undeterred, Patrick invited Sonja to visit him. But the change of plans presented several obstacles.

Patrick had to enlist the help of Sonja's sister to obtain -- secretly -- Sonja's ring size. He also had to let Sonja's Catholic parents in on his plans.

"She was still living at home, so I had to let them know what I was planning -- otherwise they wouldn't have let her come," he said.

Sonja said her father's willingness to let her travel to California should have been a clue, but wasn't. Neither was her sister's sudden interest in Sonja's Loyola University class ring.

"She asked to see it and tried it on. She has smaller fingers than I do, and she asked what size it was. I thought nothing of it at the time," said Sonja.

It wasn't until Sonja's flight landed and she was coming to meet him in the baggage claim area that Patrick began to worry.

"If she said 'No' we had four more days together," he said.

Fortunately, that didn't happen.

Patrick asked Sonja to stand on a platform near the baggage claim and in front of about 250 spectators, he read a poem he had composed just for her that ended with the line, "Will you marry me?"

"She yelled 'Yes!' then I yelled, and then everyone around us started cheering and clapping. It was so neat," he said.

"I was a little embarrassed by the crowd, and I still tease him that he had me stand up on something so he wouldn't have to get down on one knee," said Sonja.

"But he'd told me months before he wasn't ready to get married, so I really didn't expect it at all."

A few months later, Patrick was sent to the Persian Gulf, but returned in December. They wed Feb. 15, 1992, and now live in South Elgin with their two children.

Although December is considered to be the most popular month for engagements, Valentine's Day remains the day of choice for true romantics.

Terri Andresky, who owns Crystal Lake's 1776 restaurant with her husband, Andy, said that every two or three years they'll see a customer propose on Valentine's Day.

"Our most memorable one was a gentleman who had a harpist come in and play next to their table. That was the most romantic one. We also have a couple who had their first date here, got engaged here and come back every Valentine's Day," she said.

Biaggi's restaurant in Algonquin is another popular proposal spot.

"We get about six or so a year, on Valentine's Day and other days," said Scott Lager, a partner in the restaurant.

He said customers often ask to have the ring hidden in a dessert or wine glass.

"We've had guys who got very nervous when she didn't find it right away, but nothing's ever gotten lost," said Lager.

Lager said a call ahead of time is helpful.

"Usually, the gentleman will bring the ring in during the day and we'll lock it in the safe. We have to be organized and know where they'll be sitting, but we have an excellent reservation system, which helps. We try to be really accommodating."

Advance planning also helps when picking out a ring.

David Perlman, of D & M Perlman Fine Jewelry and Gifts in West Dundee, said he doesn't see a major surge in ring sales around Valentine's Day because the bulk of his business is custom work.

We don't see a big rush because most of our customers have been planning it for some time."

For those who do take the Valentine's Day plunge, he said in-stock rings can be personalized quickly with engraving or other touches.

But even those who decide to surprise their sweetheart usually know what they want.

"Hopefully, they've been shopping together so he knows her taste," Perlman said.

Crystal Lake jeweler Steve Dalzell of Dalzell Jewelers said that about half of his engagement ring shoppers are men coming in alone.

"We do a lot of custom work, and also a lot of surprises," said Dalzell, who said that Valentine's Day brings an upsurge in ring sales.

"The trends are still platinum and white gold," he said.

"Typically with about 25 percent of my customers, she has no idea it's coming; 50 percent she's kind of expecting it, but he's trying to surprise her; and the other 25 percent of the time, they've come in as a couple," said Kenneth Keehn, owner of Keehn's Jewelery Ltd. in Algonquin.

While both Keehn and Perlman said they sell more engagement rings around the holidays, Keehn acknowledged that Valentine's Day is special.

"It's the most romantic day of the year," he said.

It's also a popular time for tropical getaways. Dalzell remembered a customer who hid a ring in a small treasure chest for his girlfriend to find on a dive trip, and another who tucked the ring into a seashell and proposed during a walk on the beach.

But whether the local is sunny or snowy, Keane says the occasion is about more than jewelry.

"My advice is make it special for her, no matter what," he said.

Kari Arndt said her husband, Destri, had that very idea in mind when he planned his Valentine's Day 1993 proposal.

The couple met while employed at a Buffalo Grove car dealership and had been dating for a while. When Valentine's Day rolled around, they had a special trip planned: a visit to Kari's grandfather, Les Knudson, in Green Lake, Wis.

"My grandmother passed away years ago and her birthday was on Feb. 12, so every year I went to visit him. When Destri and I started dating, we went there together. We're both very family-oriented," said Kari.

On Friday evening, Feb. 12, the couple went out for dinner, "to no place special," Kari recalls, and Destri presented her with a single red rose.

"He said since we'd be at my grandpa's he wouldn't have time to get me anything for Valentine's Day."

Kari was very accommodating. "It was fine with me. No biggie," she said.

The next day they drove to Green Lake, just like always.

"I don't even remember what we did that day, but it was nothing out of the ordinary," said Kari.

On Sunday, Feb. 14, they prepared to drive home.

"I came into the living room and Destri got down on one knee. He was holding a box of candy, and inside was my engagement ring," Kari said with a catch in her voice. "He asked me to marry him while my grandpa sat right there in his chair."

She later learned her entire family had known Destri's plan.

"My sister helped him pick out the ring; he'd asked my father for my hand, and that morning, asked my grandfather if it was OK. My grandpa asked if he should leave the room, but Destri said he could stay."

When Destri brought Kari back to her parents' house later that day, they celebrated the engagement with a heart-shaped cake baked by Kari's sister.

The couple married in May 1994, live in Lake in the Hills and have a 10-year-old son.

Looking back, Kari said her grandfather's farm was the perfect place for Destri's proposal.

"We'd spent a lot of time there. He lived on a beautiful lake, and I was always the tomboy who loved to go fishing. Destri knew it would be very special for me.

"I mean, how many people can say they got engaged with Grandpa sitting right there?"