Sometimes, kids don’t belong at restaurants

In 2023, a restaurant in New Jersey banned children under 10 — and ignited national headlines.

Nettie's House of Spaghetti in Tinton Falls said that they “love kids,” but due to “noise levels, lack of space for high chairs and cleaning up mess,” they are no longer able to accommodate children. Three years later, Nettie’s is still in business and still not permitting children under 10.

I’m surprised there are not more restaurants following this practice. In my opinion, taking children to restaurants is an opportunity spend special time with them, communicate with them and, most importantly, teach them how to behave in public.

However, what I have been seeing are parents who bring the kids, let them run amok and expect the restaurant staff to babysit.

What’s the appropriate age?

I believe that parents should feel free to bring their kids into restaurants as early as possible. However, my caveat is that you should bring the kids when they understand how to behave appropriately at a restaurant. By that I mean that they can sit in a chair, talk in their indoor voices, use utensils and listen to guidance from their parents.

I have seen 4- and 5-year-olds do a great job of enjoying a restaurant with their family, while at the same time I have witnessed 10- and 12-year-olds who are uncontrollable and disruptive to many other guests. If your kids are having a bad day and you can tell that they (and you) will not have a good time at a restaurant, do us all a favor and stay home.

Eyewitness reports

I was inspired to write this article based on a recent restaurant experience. I had lunch with a good friend at what I consider a casual family restaurant. We sat in a booth next to another booth separated by decorative glass. The booth next to ours had two children around 5 years old who kept tossing their toys into our booth, putting their faces against the glass and being very loud.

The parents not only did nothing, but they also thought this was cute. I couldn’t believe it.

But then I understood that it was not the children behaving inappropriately — it was the parents. They had the opportunity to teach their kids that their behavior was unsuitable for a restaurant. Unfortunately, the parents seemed to feel that we all love their kids just like they do.

Not long ago, I was at a small self-service cafe where the parents purchased pastries and hot chocolate for their two boys. They sat a table and, when the order was up, they brought the food to the table and everyone sat down ready to eat.

However, the boys took their hot chocolates, began to run around the store and, of course, spilled their beverages all over the floor, splashing counters and chairs. The parents’ response was to grab everything and essentially run out of the store saying, “Boys will be boys.”

Reasons restaurants ban kids

I don’t know exactly when children became a liability for restaurants, but that is one of the biggest reasons restaurants are beginning to ban children altogether. Most operations have pointed to kids running around unsupervised and then either getting hurt or interrupting service.

It’s not discriminatory. Businesses can decide whom they want to serve subject to several legal constraints. Color, race, national origin, religion and disability are protected classes; age is not.

Red Rooster Burgers and Grill in Garden Valley, California, bans unaccompanied minors under 18. My favorite restaurant with a policy about kids is Toccoa Riverside Restaurant in Georgia. They assess a $50 “adult surcharge” for parents whose children are “unruly” during meals. The surcharge applies if kids are loud, running around or otherwise disruptive.

I love the policy and I’m sure the other customers who want to enjoy time together with well-behaved children love it, too.

What’s a restaurant to do?

I think restaurants need to address parents who bring unruly kids into their operations. In my case with my friend, I saw managers walking around and watching what was happening but did not step in. They should have asked the parents to either get their kids to behave or consider leaving.

I won’t go back there because of that experience. Essentially, the restaurant has lost a customer because they let a 5-year-old run the operation.

• Izzy Kharasch is the founder of Hospitality Works, a consulting firm that has worked with 700+ restaurants and small businesses nationwide. He is offering Daily Herald restaurant owners a free consultation by contacting him at Izzy@HospitalityWorks.com.