Coach: Early spring weather a boon for local golfers, plus the perfect golf book

It has been a pleasantly warm spring thus far, and I use the term "thus far" because who knows what the coming days will bring. By the writing and printing of this particular column it wouldn't be a total surprise if folks could be seen scrambling to find the snow shovels they just put away for the winter season.

The earlier-than-usual warm weather has been a real boon to our many local golf enthusiasts. Linksters of all ages and abilities have descended upon our local golf courses, and tee times are flying off the shelf like a Blue Light Special in Row 5 at Kmart.

It is a beautiful thing to see. The frustrations of the cold and darkness of winter being pleasantly replaced by the near-equal frustrations of the game's many challenges, including (and definitely not limited to) errant short game chip shots, makable putts not made, and occasional drives that fly off the tee in what could politely be described as "wayward."

First, however, we must count our blessings. Glenview and Northbrook golfers are fortunate indeed to have so many options to play their favorite sport.

Heritage Oaks Golf Course in Northbrook is a perfect example. Part of Northbrook's award-winning park district, it has everything a golfer's fantasy could possibly want. A beautiful 18-hole course, outdoor driving range, putting green, pro shop, clubhouse restaurant, and even an indoor golf simulator in case you grow tired of your ball going into trees, water and neighbors' yards and would rather fire away at a movie screen in an enclosed area. What could possibly go wrong there?

Other golf options are plentiful. Anetsberger 9-hole course in Northbrook, the Glenview Park District course on Shermer Road, Willow Hill, The Glen Cub, Mission Hills Club, Valley Lo Club and the North Shore Country Club being just some of the many open within our two community boundaries.

Add in numerous options on towns bordering us and the opportunity to play golf is of both quality and quantity.

As an added bonus for this column, I did come across what I am calling an absolute "must read" book for the many hackers or (I will be kind) semi-hacker golfers out there. (Note, I am proud to say I am no longer defined by either of those insulting monikers, or any other golf nickname for that matter, not because of my elevated level of play but instead because I simply stopped playing. A great way to solve my bad golf game! I went cold turkey about 10 years ago and haven't looked back since!)

Survival manual

But for the many of you out there still fighting your way through the frustrations of this sport, I did come across the perfect book for you. It is called "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Golf," written by Joshua Piven, David Borgenicht and James Grace. I know not these three gentleman at all, but after reading this classic instructional manual, I feel comfortable in saying I would enjoy sitting down for a beverage or two (maybe three or four) with these fine cohorts. My kind of people for sure.

Sample chapters in this soon-to-be award-winning book include: How to Retrieve a Ball Lost in the Ball Washer, How to Scale a Fence to Retrieve a Lost Ball (With - For Real - Specific Fence Climbing Safety Strategies!)," How to Retrieve a Club Stuck in a Tree, How to Stop a Runaway Cart, How to Get a Golf Cart Out of a Sand Trap, How to Drive Using a Putter, How to Putt Using a Driver, How to Play a Ball Sitting on Top of the Water, and How to Disarm an Irate Golfer.

All essential real-world stuff for most of the golfers out there. Particularly for those of us who claim the "duff" as one of the shots in our arsenal.

The book continues with more helpful advice: How to Avoid Getting Hit By a Ball, How to Treat an Injured Golfer (i.e. ... The One You Just Hit With a Stray Shot From Close Range), How to Avoid Getting Hit by Lightning, How to Improve Your Lie Without Others Being Aware, How to Survive If You Run Out of Tees, How to Survive If You Lost All Your Golf Balls, What to Do If You Accidentally Hit a Beehive, How To Prevent a Golf Club From Flying Out of Your Hand, and even The Best and Safest Way to Put Out a Cigar While on the Course.

I mean, these guys have thought of everything. Except maybe a few I might add from my experience, like How to Look Cool After Completely Whiffing on Your Drive With Everyone Watching On The First Tee (Hint? Act like it was just a practice swing), How Best to Replace the Monster Size Divot in the Fairway You Just Created (Hint again, for the really big ones have fertilizer and water handy), and maybe most importantly, How To Report a Score of 9 When You Actually Got an 11.

Again, some essential, if lesser known golfing skills here.

If this were a holiday season, I would highly recommend this book for the golfing loved one on your Christmas gift list, but since it's not you can always go to worstcasescenario.com for information on this book and some of their others.

Hopefully, you won't need this book. Maybe your game is on the upswing and you are anticipating an ascension to a higher level of play. If so, more power to you.

But just in case ... keep this book handy.

I always live by the motto "golf is a good walk ruined," but I think the immortal Gardner Dickinson said it better when he stated: "They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that."

• Jon Cohn of Glenview is a coach, retired PE teacher, sports official and prep sports fan. To contact him with comments or story ideas, email jcsportsandtees@aol.com.