The Mabley Archive: Aging is nothing to fear; it is to be celebrated
In 1988, when longtime Glenview resident Jack Mabley brought his column to the Daily Herald, he made a couple of requests: 1. Let him keep his ugly, old green chair. 2. Launch an edition for his hometown. He kept the chair. And now, more than a decade after his passing in 2006, his second request has been granted. This column is from Feb. 17, 1997.
Remember Yesterday.
Ponder Tomorrow but
Live for Today.
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That thought in needlework or embroidery was sewn by my daughter during quiet times in the emergency room where she works. (They aren't all like "Chicago Hope.")
It is framed and hanging on a wall in our house where I see it a dozen times a day. It is trite, and hardly new, but it definitely serves a purpose.
The older you are, the more it means.
Baby boomers are hitting 50 and more. The big five-oh is a shocker, but wait till they get their first solicitation from the American Association of Retired Persons.
You're really certified old when the first notice comes from Social Security, inviting you in.
One happy change in our society is the realization that being over 65 isn't awful. It can be the best of times.
A New York Times essay notes, "There used to be something stolid, dignified, but slightly embarrassing about retirement. It carried an unmistakable hint of old bufferdom, even sadness - the lingering twilight moment at the end of the three-act tragedy that once was our American life."
Most articles about retirement are written by men and women who are years away from retirement.
How many come from people who are old, and know from personal experience what it's all about?
I'll volunteer. The 19 years since I got that Social Security notice (and first check) have, in many ways, been the best years of my life.
Years ago my first boss at the Daily News retired, moved to Florida and painted landscapes.
He was happier than I'd ever known him to be. One reason was that his boss at the News wasn't very nice to work for.
I have friends who travel and play golf and play cards and are very content.
Some others have to be busy, to have a feeling of being needed. Volunteer work takes care of that.
The challenge for many women is harder. What are they retiring from? Well ... usually they don't retire from anything. They keep on tending the house and worrying about the kids (whatever their ages) and what to give the old man for lunch.
All bets are off when there is serious illness or impairment, and when one becomes a widow or widower.
The marketing industry is targeting older Americans because there are so many of them on the way.
The ads certainly do idealize the elderly. Watch the next Ensure commercial with the older and pretty lady hopping over a small stream. Or the couple who look young to me cavorting around with the help of Ensure.
Many older people carry on normal lives and look great and have secrets. The plumbing tends to wear out. The joints get arthritic. The heart may wobble. The libido - especially men's - calms down.
I'd be interested to see an age breakdown of Viagra users. My guess is the average would be well below 70.
Almost every examination of aging emphasizes the necessity of being physically active. Most retirement communities have exercise rooms and swimming pools and activity rooms and programs to keep residents moving and occupied.
Walking is as good as any exercise, and it comes cheap. Golf is good if you stay out of the carts unless your legs protest walking.
"The thing we fear most is getting old" appears in one article.
It's not something to fear. It's something to look forward to. But we have to work at it, just as we worked for a good life years earlier.