Tight times strengthens family, giving

In years past, there has always been a stack of gifts sitting beneath the tree on Christmas morning for each of Kelly Shavell's three boys, and for Mom and Dad too.

This year, there will be one gift for the entire family to share.

Shavell, who home schools her children in their McHenry County house by day, recently lost her night job. At the same time, her husband Marc's pay was cut.

Due to the cutbacks the Shavells decided to buy one family gift this year that they could all enjoy together, and focus more on family time instead of piles of gifts.

Many throughout the Fox Valley have similar plans this Christmas. Due to the economy, some are cutting back on the number of gifts they give or giving homemade gifts, while others are changing the type of gifts they give their family members.

Some are asking for more practical gifts from family members - such as music lessons for their kids or household necessities such as sheets. While others are focusing their gift-giving on helping those less fortunate than themselves.

In the Shavells case, they're picking one gift that the family can use together. They're trying to decide between a pingpong table or an air hockey table

"It's so easy to get carried away with a little for this person and little for that," Shavell said. "I'm better at most people I know at keeping it in check but still this year is tough with the money cuts and rising costs of everything," she said.

The Emling family of Huntley is also cutting back.

On Christmas morning, Therese Emling's three girls will have a stocking to open, and one present each. They already got their main present this year, which they also decided would be something the family could enjoy together.

When the girls wanted a new puppy, Therese agreed, but said he would be the family's Christmas present for the year. The girls don't mind, she said. They're thrilled to have the puppy, Comet, as a new member of their family and think he's the best Christmas present ever.

And this is a present that they will always remember, and is more special than lots of different gifts under the tree, Emling said.

"Normally, we would have got the dog, and then also had lots of presents for each person. This year we just couldn't. My mother-in-law always gives us a check to cover the cost of Christmas presents and that covered the cost of the dog this year," she said.

The Kozak family of McHenry also is minimizing this year.

Family members are getting four presents each - something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.

"That makes shopping easy. I don't have to worry about over spending," Juli Kozak said. "One thing per category, and we're done."

With some of the money they are saving, the family has decided to buy for others this year.

"The other thing we're doing is buying a present from a catalog from Samaritan's Purse or Harvest of Hope," Kozak said. "As a family, we purchase a piglet for a family in China, or a week's worth of meals for a child in the middle east. It's a whole family activity, everyone gets a say in what we choose and it helps to get us into the real reason of the season."

The Troy family of Lake in the Hills feels fortunate this Christmas season. And so they're also trying to help others.

Every year Jennifer and Paul Troy get together with their friends and do a grab bag. They ask everyone to bring a gift valued at about $15, which they can then trade with others to try to get the best gift of the bunch.

This year, they're changing the game.

"We wanted to take this opportunity to remind our children that is it always better to give than to receive. With that in mind, and in light of the economy, Paul and I have decided to put a spin on our usual adult grab bag game," Jennifer Troy said. "We are asking our guests to bring a toy that they played with as a child. We will play our usual game where people draw numbers, select gifts, and then try to trade up based on their interests. Once each gift is opened, a story will be shared about why this item was a favorite toy. Once all the gifts are opened, the children at the party will rewrap all the gifts and we will donate them to a local charity."

Leslie Bledsoe of St. Charles has her kids pick out and wrap gifts for children in need at local charities each year too. Her church, St. Patrick Catholic Church in St. Charles, puts up a huge giving tree, listing the needs and wants of local children.

This year, because of the economy, Bledsoe knows there is a greater need than ever for these kind of presents.

She is stressing to her children how important it is to help others in need, especially now.

"In our house we always try to drive home that it's not just about them," Bledsoe said. "We try to get them to realize that there are a lot of other children that aren't as fortunate as they are, that it's about more than what's under the tree for them."

When it comes to gifts for her kids, Alicia Fox of Elgin says she's really trying to focus more on what they might need or what might be a lasting gift, instead of the newest, fanciest toy.

She's asked her mother-in-law to buy socks and sheets for her 5-year-old daughter, and she's also asked for money for dance lessons.

"My daughter of course wants new toys, and I'm sure Santa will bring her some. But we're also trying to focus on the practical," Fox said. "She loves dance, but it's just so expensive. Money for classes really helps right now, and we know it's something that will make her happy too."

Kate Darling Bond, who co-owns Fat Cat Guitars in Carpentersville, said she's seen many more parents this year focusing on the practical, or gifts that will last longer than just a few weeks of fun after Christmas.

"We are also hearing a lot of parents remark that they'd rather see their son or daughter play the guitar than play video games," Bond said. "The parents who are buying guitars this year don't seem to be the 'grab and go, just check it off the list' type; instead they seem to be really thinking their decision through, signing up for lessons, and going for it long-term.

"This year doesn't seem to be so much about putting an object under a tree as it does about giving a hobby that can pay dividends over a lifetime," Bond said. "I guess what I'm saying is that this holiday season, gift giving seems to be less about what you buy and more about who you are."