Bouncing off the walls
Thud. Thwak. Schwak. Pop.
OK. I give up. There's no way to write the amazing sound of a hollow racquetball slamming into the floor, wall or ceiling, but not your body. That sound is entirely different and not so cool!
Racquetball is to basketball like craps is to slots. It's the high-stakes game where everything seems to be going at once and it's hard to tell who's winning and who's losing. It's also not for the faint of heart. You have to be on your toes, ready to dodge a ball -- or hit it -- as it whizzes toward your head from any direction.
Much like writing about the sound, finding the words to describe all the rules is impossible. But the basic thing to remember: It's all about velocity and control.
Two or more players hit the court and whale away with racquets as the ball seemingly ping pongs around the room. Players have to hit the ball to the front wall before it bounces more than once on the floor, but it can bounce multiple times on the ceiling or walls.
What you do need to know, if you haven't played before, is that it gives you an amazing workout. The burst of speed and power is a form of interval training that can provide more aerobic benefit than a sustained activity like running, experts say.
All that racquet swinging, running, lunging and, possibly, swearing, burns between 650 and 750 calories in an hour, the average length of a typical three-game match.
It's the perfect sport -- if you can control your temper -- for working out your forearms, rotator cuffs, upper back, shoulders, chest, quads, triceps, biceps, hamstrings, gluts, abductors and calves.
You'll also get an invigorating mental workout. Racquetball is as much about strategy as it is physical endurance. You have to focus and plot how to get your shot, even if your opponent blocks you. In this sport, much like golf, the more you let your focus slide, the harder you try to play. The more you lose your temper, the more your performance will suffer.
Sound intimidating? If you're not quite ready to dive into the sport, get your voyeuristic fill in at the 2008 Motorola IRT Pro Nationals at Schaumburg Tennis Plus, 1416 Payne Road, Schaumburg.
Qualifying rounds start Wednesday and semifinals and finals are this weekend.
The tournament will draw more than 400 competitors, says Dave Negrete, director of the tournament and an International Racquetball Tournament commissioner.
The event will debut a new all-glass court and will be streamed live on ESPN360.com and on air on ESPN Classic.
For more information, see IRT-pronationals.com. Tickets for weekend matches are about $40 and proceeds benefit the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.
If these champions inspire you, check out your local park district or racquet club for lessons and court times. Or log on monstersports.com to find a league.
Racquetball terms: How to talk like you know the game.
Short line: The solid red line that runs the court's width parallel to the front and back walls at a distance of 20 feet.
Service line: A parallel line 15 feet from the front wall
Service zone: The area in between the short line and service line
Fault serve: When a server steps out of the service zone before the ball passes the short line; when the ball touches both side walls before touching the floor; when the ball touches the ceiling or when the ball hits the front wall before the floor.
Hinder: When a player blocks another.
Singles: Two-player games
Ironman or cut-throat: Three-player games
Doubles: Four-player games
Goggles: What you want to wear if you don't want to lose an eye
Motorola IRT Pro Nationals
• Wednesday: Noon to 10 men's pro qualifying rounds; 5:30 to 7 p.m. Play doubles and dine with the pros for a $500 donation to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.
• Thursday: 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., men's qualifying rounds.
• Friday: 2:30 to 9 p.m., men's quarterfinals.
• Saturday: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., women's pro semi-finals; 3:30 and 5 p.m., men's semifinals.