Helping one another heal can take time
For many of you, this weekend has been a challenge as your Northern Illinois University student or friend goes back to a campus forever changed by a single gunman's lasting horror.
Students will try to get back to a sense of normal. Parents, friends and family will worry. And all will continue to grieve the reality of the harm done.
You can join the healing process at tonight's memorial services to honor those affected by the Feb. 14 shootings.
If you can't make it to the NIU Convocation Center in DeKalb, you can view the broadcast at the NIU-Hoffman Estates campus by the Sears Merchandising Group Headquarters off of Route 72.
Take Route 72 from Route 31 east to Trillium Boulevard, between Beverly Road and Route 59. Turn south.
Doors will open at 6 p.m. for the 7 p.m. service which will also be streamed live on the NIU Web site: niu.edu.
Flashing back
For those of you who were there when the gunman opened fire, don't be surprised if the sounds of a helicopter, squad car, fire engine or ambulance sends you back to those awful moments. It's been more than 12 years since the devastating day when a Metra train slammed into the back of a school bus in Fox River Grove. I still sometimes flinch at those stark reminders of that grim day. But know that such triggers will ease and you will heal -- even though it does not seem that way right now.
Even if you weren't directly affected by last week's events, you might find news coverage, which puts us all in it, can trigger other sadness or emotions for you.
What's normal?
McHenry County Crisis Program director Leo Rizzi sent me tips meant mostly for families and victims, but also applicable to anyone touched by these sad days.
It's normal to feel shock, sadness, fear, anger, numbness, disillusionment and grief when faced with such abnormal events.
If you find yourself or your loved ones struggling after a few weeks, don't hesitate to seek help. If you or they are having trouble concentrating, staying on task, sleeping or remembering short-term, reach out.
If you have intrusive thoughts, anxiety, nervousness, physical reactions, depression, anger, irritability and are isolating or using drugs or alcohol to cope, it's time for an assist.
You can call the McHenry County Crisis Line at (800) 892-8900 any time day or night. The NIU counseling department also is available for NIU students at (815) 753-1203.
Don't hesitate. It's OK to ask for help.
Incredibly cruel
As to the fringe protest group once again using a time of pain to push their own perverse message, I hope we will not stoop to their level nor give them the pleasure of engaging. The jerks who are planning to protest at NIU's services are the same jerks who protest at the funerals of our soldiers. You know I'm fiercely for free speech -- but just as fiercely feel that freedom does not give anyone the right to intrude on private grief.
Kind souls
Contrasting with such deplorable human behavior is the heart-touching gesture of a group of Virginia Tech students who know too well what the NIU community is going through. Almost a year since a gunman's deadly rampage on their campus, they reached out to NIU students with a visit Thursday to offer prayers and support.
"The students wanted to show the community they support them," said Ron Shidemantle, director of the office of fraternity and sorority life at Virginia Tech.
"I think this is part of the healing process that they can give back and show support for another campus."
And that is very kind indeed.