A part of our family; celebrating National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month and a good time to remember that adoption is a way to become a parent and build a family, providing a home to a child in need of a "forever family" and the loving, safe home that family can provide.

The Rev. Cory and Christena Estby recently adopted their second child, completing both of their home studies through Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois and shared why adoption is so important for the children and families involved.

"In May 2015, we had a conversation about 'would we ever seek out another adoption?' Our two oldest children were 12 (Gabriel) and 10 (Kaleigh) and our youngest son (Samuel, adopted) was 20 months at the time. After weighing multiple factors (our first adoption took four and a half years to finally come to fruition, we had four failed adoptions in the process, we lost a significant amount of money on the previous adoption attempts, and maybe the largest factor - we were concerned about putting ourselves and our children through an emotional roller coaster similar to what we had previously experienced), we decided that we were not in a position to actively seek an adoption, but if a baby 'fell in our laps' we would welcome him/her with open arms. The other question we asked was, 'What if Samuel's birth mother was to become pregnant again?' We knew we'd love the opportunity to raise a sibling and were definitely open to that possibility.

In late July, Christena felt a tugging need to express the thoughts from our conversation to our son's social worker. She sent an email, just laying it out there … "on the off chance that his birth mother would approach them about another adoption plan we would love to be considered." Two weeks later, we received a phone call from the social worker telling us that our son's birth mother had been in the office that day seven and a half months pregnant with our son's full-biological sibling and looking for an adoption plan. Thus began the preparations of reopening our home study (paperwork that can easily take six or more months to complete, was finished in a frantic three and a half weeks!). Our newest son (Josiah) was born five weeks later."

The Estbys remind prospective-adoptive parents, "No two adoptions happen in the same way. Adoption is often a difficult road to travel. Be as prepared as you can be on your end, but know that things will most likely NOT always go as planned. Ask as many questions as you think of to your case worker, your attorneys and other adoptive families. Plus, find someone you can reliably share your days with for support. Timelines are estimates and averages (remember there are those situations that fall well outside of those specs, so don't become discouraged!). The 'cost' is also an estimate that varies widely with each attempt/circumstance. Be diligent in seeking out other financial resources (grants, savings, low-interest adoption loans and your own contacts for fundraising). You are not alone. Open your heart to God's leading and trust in Him."

For the Estbys, their second adoption reinforced the importance of providing children with loving and safe homes. "Our previous adoption experience taught us a lot of lessons about ourselves, our commitment to our family/children and about our faith. We felt tested at many times along the way, and often discouraged. After our first adopted son came into our lives, we felt a peace and knew THIS was the baby meant to be a part of our family. The saying 'hindsight is 20/20' is so true. In the moments of doubt and questioning about whether God really intended for us to adopt, wondering whether we'd ever be able to add to our family in that way, we really did wonder. Then to be able to bring a sibling home as well - what an amazing gift to both boys! It's now abundantly clear to all of us that God's intention all along was for Samuel and Josiah to become a part of our family and God's family."

For more information on either of Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois' adoption programs, visit www.lcfs.org/adoption or Lifelink International Adoption at www.lifelinkadoption.org.