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Jim O'Donnell: Alderman's plan for Chicago to buy Bears is a non-starter

WHO CAN FORGET WHEN Daniel Burnham — the great Chicago urban planner — almost said, “Make no little nonsense?”

Alderman George Cardenas, one of Mayor Lori Lightfoot's City Council floor leaders, is apparently all in on that unstated notion.

He is the Southwest Side politico pushing for a feasibility study about the city or its residents buying the Bears to keep them from moving to Arlington Heights.

To save time and taxpayer money about Cardenas and his “feasibility study,” here's a fast-forwarded conclusion:

Forget about it.

Lo siento.

THAT'S NOT TO SAY that if Lightfoot and cohorts truly want to think creatively about taking a legitimate shot at keeping the Monsters within city limits it couldn't be done.

As a matter of fact, if they want to forward $500K to Insouciant Inc., 60004, there's a bearded suburban Rodin more than willing to take a brief leave from dot-dot-dotting to consult and even generate a more realistic and fun “feasibility study.”

Jerry Reinsdorf has always been fond of saying, “There are ways of getting things done.”

As a bonus-plus, once that “feasibility study” is done and all tabs are paid, the CEO of Insouciant Inc. will even send Mayor Lightfoot and Alderman Cardenas a series of signed picture postcards from Montserrat, Mykonos and other exotic ports o' hang.

IN THE INTERIM, the effort to get the Chicago Bears into the new George S. Halas Stadium at 3-6 Matt Nagy Drive is far from done.

Some might even say the initiative remains at even money:

It'll happen or it won't.

But if the bet is between the Bears to Arlington Heights or the McCaskey-Ryan-McKenna triumvirate selling to a Green Bay Packers citizen-style flock shepherded by Alderman George Cardenas, CB/AH is on the board at 1-to-infinity.

Even Daniel Burnham would likely tell Cardenas, “Don't make me laugh.”

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The ghost of Woodie Held must be relieved to know the Cleveland MLB team has settled a dispute with a local roller derby team and can now legally proceed as “The Guardians.” Really clever — but what about the Cleveland Flown Overs? Or the Rust Belters? In a Rin Tin Tin flip, how about the Cleveland Cavalry? ...

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And interim Blackhawks coach Derek “Fresh Air” King, asked his thoughts about long road trips: “You mean before or after I was married?”

• Jim O'Donnell's Sports & Media column appears Thursday and Sunday. Reach him at jimodonnelldh@yahoo.com.

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