Letter from the Editor: COVID-19 test? It's really not so bad

OK, so for nearly three weeks, I've felt like trash. Like, actually needed-a-sick-day-when-I'm-already-working-from-home-kind-of-yuck.

Naturally, because I am me, and me is a hypochondriac, I quickly diagnosed myself with a rare disease TBD from an episode of “House” or a zombie movie — whatever I found first either on TV or somewhere in our eclectic DVD/iTunes collection.

But instead I've been sucked into baking competition shows. As far as I know, underbaking cake isn't covered by insurance, so I just called my doctor.

After a few questions — including some pretty specifically about relatives in jobs that make them pretty likely to be exposed to coronavirus — she told me that, before anything else, I needed to get a COVID-19 test. And my husband, Brian, probably should, too, since he was starting to have similar symptoms.

Ugh. Really? Can't she just (waves arms around) do something doctorly?

Because if what I'd interpreted so far about this “testing” was true, I'd be camped out in my car for approximately one month, without food or water (maybe with angry bears?) then ACTUALLY have a rubber hose shoved up my nose?

That turned out to be not quite the case.

Although it could have been if the planning had been left to me. (note: If you are ever in the position for me to plan something, make other arrangements)

I insisted we had to “get in line at (insert discouraging words here) o'clock in the morning.” Brian suggested while that was an option, we could also make an appointment at the pharmacy down the street where our insurance would still cover it.

So we made an appointment at the pharmacy, waited for exactly zero minutes and stopped at the drive-through window, where the pharmacist handed us test kits.

We were going to be swabbing our own noses, the pharmacist told us. “See the fuzzy part? Put the swab in far enough so I can't see that.”

Me, to Brian: Oh, that's not so bad. It's pretty small. This will be a breeze!

(15 seconds of nose swabbing)

Me, to Brian: IT TOUCHED MY BRAIN AND NOW I DON'T REMEMBER 1985.

Brian, used to this kind of medical-related drama from me: ((eye roll)) It was a Q-tip up your nose, Mel, not conquering Mount Everest.

Here's the thing: I'm joking about it, but I have to tell you, it's really no big deal. We came, we saw, we swabbed, we left. We also sneezed a lot. But to be fair, it's allergy season in these parts. It was only partly the swab's fault.

The rest of the story is a good news/bad news situation — but really mainly good news: The bad news is that my husband and I still feel kinda cruddy and have to check back with the doctor. Other than that, though, we got our results back quickly and do not have the COVID. Plus, we are fortunate enough to be able to work from home, so that makes feeling yuck a lot easier.

So if you're exposed, think you may have been or are feeling sick, don't worry. The test isn't something you'll want to take up as a hobby or anything, but it's only 15 seconds. And if I can do it, so can you.

• Melynda has worked at the Daily Herald for 21 years. This is usually where she says something funny, but she's going to take a nap.