Naperville still has small-town heart

My neighbor cleared my sidewalk of snow the other morning.

It was during our recent week of snow after snow. He didn't do it because we're laid up or elderly - we're neither. He did it because he'd seen us outside, moving heavy snow via snow shovel, and he owns a snowblower.

"No problem!" he shouted with a smile over the blasting machine, which was making quick work of our long sidewalk.

I know Naperville, at 140,000-plus population and counting, is no longer a small town. But surer than numbers, I know Naperville has a small-town heart. Last summer, when we were away on vacation and tornado-strength winds tore through our cul-de-sac, our neighbors spent hours clearing away broken tree limbs in our yard as well as in their own.

Two summers ago, again when we were out of town, after our front and back yards were TP'd, another family on our cul-de-sac (that had nothing to do with the original mischief) cleaned it up before we got back. When other kids on our street saw neighbors out picking up our yard, they ran out to help too. Their cleanup job was so thorough, I didn't know anything had happened at all until I heard about it weeks later.

Goodwill becomes a shared culture. Helpfulness becomes the way things are. Friendliness spreads from one to another, and is returned and increased.

I didn't hesitate early one summer morning, after widespread flooding, when I saw my physician neighbor outside struggling to clear debris from his bridge over the creek in his yard. He was standing in water, bootless, and I could see he would need help to move the downed branches that, in the strong current, would soon damage his bridge. I put on high rubber boots, picked up a second pair from our garage for him, and ran out to help him shift the limbs.

Studies show humans fare better, by almost any measure, in a group. I read recently of a study that shows having a friend along when you're facing a hill causes you to estimate the slope as less steep than it is. (Ask any high-school cross-country runner if she finds it easier to train faster and farther when surrounded by supportive teammates.) Churchgoers are found to be happier and healthier than their non-church-going counterparts. Surely the strong social networks in church play a role.

"People report feeling happier when they are around others," write authors Caroline Adams Miller and Michael B. Frisch in their book "Creating Your Best Life," quoted in the January issue of O magazine. "The happiest people have vibrant social networks. - The number one strategy used to raise mood and combat depression is social affiliation."

That was confirmed for me recently when I had lunch with friends. One is moving, trying to sell a house in this dismal market. Another's husband just lost his high-paying corporate job in the city after more than 20 years with the company. Both women needed to vent. They needed to talk. They needed friends to listen. All three of us left feeling more upbeat and positive.

Small countries apparently have something in common with small towns like Naperville. Author Eric Weiner, in his book "The Geography of Bliss," quoted in the December issue of Better Homes and Gardens, says Icelanders consistently rank as the happiest people on the planet. Why? They see their small country as a big family.

"If you get a flat tire, people will stop for you every single time," Weiner reports.

I have a Swedish friend who says his country is similar, that its entire population seems to be an intertwined network of extended families. If you meet someone unknown, he says, you'll soon discover a connection through family or friends.

I have only had car trouble twice, and people stopped, immediately, both times. Once was within the city limits of Naperville. The other was along a deserted stretch of highway, between Naperville and Ames, my hometown in central Iowa. I stopped alongside the road, temporarily lost, and a local farmer drove out, within seconds, to point out the way.

Small town or small country, it seems connecting with your neighbors makes you happier. Weiner, the author of "The Geography of Bliss," asked people in many countries what makes them happy.

"Almost invariably," he reported, "it involved a relationship with another living thing."

So today, be thankful you've got family and friends. And if you see a neighbor facing a long, snowy sidewalk alone, don't hesitate to help shovel.

• Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy writes about Naperville monthly in Neighbor. E-mail her at otbfence@hotmail.com