Here's a look at crazy world of critter courtship

Nothing says love like heart-shaped, chalk-flavored candy embossed with “XOXO,” right? Well, I have heartbreaking news: candy-maker Necco is no longer producing “conversation hearts” for Valentine's Day. Fear not! We need look no farther than nature for romantic ideas and inspiration. Animals of all stripes and sizes have been perfecting the courtship game since the beginning of time.

Courtship is the contest between male salesmanship and female resistance - and sometimes the reverse. It often involves gift giving, somewhat like our Valentine Day tradition.

There are as many variations of valentines as there are lovesick creatures. Regurgitated food is a prelude to holy matrimony among some species of gulls. Sushi from the gullet is a tremendous turn-on for terns. Some species of amorous male spiders present their sweethearts with insects wrapped in silk. Passionate slugs entwine themselves in sensuous strands of slime while consummating their relationship.

Courtship falls into two general types. One strategy involves males competing fiercely with other males for access to females. Sort of like the boxing match, where two guys duke it out. A second courtship strategy involves showy males competing to win over females by visual attraction, kind of like Bruno Mars on stage.

In the proof-of-prowess category, our native white-tailed deer are prime contenders. Bucks with broad necks and huge racks of antlers go at each other in sparring contests. The biggest and baddest win the battle for access to females.

An example further a field is the elephant seal of Antarctic shorelines. Eight-thousand pound males barrel into each other with such force that the ground quivers and the waters turn red with blood. Male power struggles result in injury and sometimes death, yet the payoff for the winner is a large harem of cows.

In the second form of courtship, it's wacky behavior that gets the girl. Ostentatious males go to extremes to impress, cajole, persuade, or otherwise to seduce females.

A striking example of this is the prairie chicken. Males and females gather for a special courtship presentation on an established area called a lek.

Prairie chicken cocks take the stage and strut their stuff in front of generally uninterested females. Males jumping up and down and stomp toward each other with bravado. They inflate air sacs on the sides of their heads and then rapidly deflate them, creating a booming sound that carries across the prairie. Aloof females eventually pay attention and rate the contestants' performance.

The histrionics of the lek may result in a winner-take-all situation. In some species, the victorious male gets to copulate with every female in the community.

While some males hit the dance floor, others just dress to the nines. The handsome drake wood duck knows that every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man. He parades his stuff on the pond with plumage patterns that make many a hens' head turn. Foppish pheasants, bedecked in iridescent feathers and scarlet wattles, flaunt their wares in the fields.

But that's not all. Stand at the shore of the Fox River and you may see other courtship antics. Hormonally-charged ducks may shake heads and tails, bob up and down, grunt, whistle, and flash the iridescent stripes on their wings.

Love songs are universal forms of courtship. Most obvious among songsters are birds, but frogs and toads are also vociferous lovers.

On the first warm evenings of March, you may hear lusty chorus frogs serenading from every available wet area. Insects, too, produce romantic symphonies. Summer brings on the ardor of male crickets, cicadas and katydids. Many will sing for love until the killing frost of November.

Not everyone can croon like Frank Sinatra or a snowy tree cricket. Some creatures make nonvocal sounds to woo their sweethearts. Musically challenged woodpeckers often drum aluminum siding and drill on metal gutters and drainpipes, much to the dismay of homeowners.

Woodcocks make whistling and buzzing sounds with their feathers during courtship. Short-eared and long-eared owls use the carpal bones of their wings as percussive instruments in courtship.

Olfactory valentines are tremendous turn-ons in the wildlife world. Pheromones are highly effective scent signals that both attract and keep track of potential partners.

The ever-popular “eau d'urine” drives those male coyotes wild. White-tailed deer also produce pungent perfumes. Bucks produce “rubs” on vegetation and then mark them with glandular secretions. Does visit the rubs and urinate on them, in turn leaving a scent trail for the bucks to follow.

If seductive song, provocative dance, alluring attire, and tantalizing fragrances don't do the trick, one can always resort to Love Potion No. 9. The two-lined salamander uses an aphrodisiac to persuade his girl to come hither. The male secretes a potent substance on the female's back, and then pierces her skin to allow the potion to permeate her system. Copulation is just a wink away.

Courtship, like dating in human society, is a crazy and confusing time. Whether the suitor offers a partially digested fur ball or a box of conversation hearts, love is a gamble. And winning is wonderful.

Valerie Blaine is the environmental education manager for the Forest Preserve District of Kane County. Email her at blainevalerie@kaneforest.com.