'Pork' industry alive and well in Illinois

Posted6/24/2019 1:00 AM

While neighboring Iowa's pork industry stalls because of Chinese tariffs, Illinois' own pork, of the political variety, is enjoying revived demand. The people of Illinois buy their pork from the same hicks masquerading as lawmakers in that giant slaughterhouse-cum-countinghouse called Springfield.

This was inevitable. The General Assembly and all six statewide offices are controlled by Democrats. Gov. J.B. Pritzker signs all the goodies into law while Speaker Madigan pulls the strings.


The goodies are all there in the government's 362-page budget; everything from pickleball courts, arts programs, and "member initiatives," totaling $45 billion. I'm not sure what pickleball is, but I know what "member initiatives" are in Illinois' legislative jargon -- pork.

New roads will be paved in yellow brick. Dorothy and the Tin Man and their friends will have abundant company, waving to folks (180,000 since 2014) exiting the state.

The gas tax has been doubled; vehicle registration fees hiked. A political party's reach should exceed its grasp, or (paraphrasing Browning) what's a super majority for?

Democratic politicians are inconsistent in their pursuit of revenue on the one hand and of virtue signaling on the other. Thus, the smoking age for cigarettes has been raised, and marijuana use simultaneously made legal. Conflicting smoke signals?

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And why worry about a casino in Chicago? When City Hall goes broke, bankruptcy will become the new blackjack. Ultimately, though, the government sticks to its priorities. Electric cars and hybrids may be good for the environment, but using less gasoline means directing fewer remittances to the treasury. Solution: slap a $1,000 tax on electric cars.

Hop on your Time Machine instead, and travel to late 2020, when the graduated income tax will have been approved by Illinois' Eloi majority. I, a mordant Morlock, will be in my basement talking to my newly legal house plants.

Patricia Gbur

Wood Dale

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