Taking the hostility out of hospitality; Patience is a must in today's dining scene

We've all seen the rage videos on TikTok and YouTube - some aggrieved customer screaming at a restaurant worker, and the restaurant worker giving it right back.

There's apparently a reason why the words "hospitality" and "hostility" are so similar.

In a recent essay, food journalist Ligaya Mishanhow noted, "The Latin hostis once meant 'guest,' then became, through some shadowy slippage of language, the word for 'enemy.'"

As diners, we need to turn down the temperature and have a little empathy for restaurants, which are still struggling with the worst employee shortage I've ever seen. True - it's not your problem, but it becomes your problem if you let it ruin your dining experience.

The restaurant labor force is still short over 450,000 jobs from what it was before the pandemic - the largest employment deficit among all U.S. industries, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. A November 2022 study by the National Restaurant Association found that 63 percent of full-service and 61 percent of limited-service restaurants are operating with fewer employees than are needed to accommodate guests.

As a restaurant customer, you are the guest, and the server is not your enemy. Here are some things you might see or experience these days:

To provide excellent service, a server should be assigned no more than four or five tables, but nowadays, it's not uncommon for one person to be handling twice that many. It leads to poor and inattentive service, but it's not the server's fault. The fault lies with the owner or manager who is opening too many tables for their staff to manage effectively.

If you experience poor service, don't complain to the server or even - heaven forbid - become abusive like some people do. Tip the server as you normally would, then have a quiet word with the manager about the level of service, again not casting blame on the server.

I have advised my clients to only seat as many tables as their servers can provide excellent service to. They don't like seeing customers walk out the door or have to spend a half-hour in the bar, but it beats the alternative: Having an unhappy customer who will never come back.

If a restaurant owner or manager is doing that, you may see a lot of empty tables and wonder why you can't get seated right away. The reason may be the staff available that evening can't serve all those tables, and the manager or owner is trying to ensure you have a good experience. Take it in stride.

There's no easy solution to the restaurant staffing issue. As I wrote recently, I've seen people not show up for interviews; show up for interviews but not for work; show up for work, leave and never come back.

Here are a couple of ways restaurants are trying to cope.

• Robots: Yes, robots. The combination of COVID-19 and the long-term restaurant shutdowns advanced this technology by 10 years. By last year, more than half of my clients were looking at making robots part of their team in the near term. If you don't have enough employees, the robot isn't taking anyone's job away.

One of the most interesting robots is one that can make pizzas by itself without any human support until the pizza comes out of the oven. As a customer, you may not see a robot in action. It will likely be in the kitchen. However, I'm quite sure that, not too long from now, smaller, smarter and faster robots will have the ability and agility to do far more - even taking orders and delivering food.

• QR codes and tabletop ordering: This is one way that restaurants are shifting labor costs to their customers. Instead of being handed a menu, you are handed a QR code for you to look up the menu on your smartphone. Some fast-casual restaurants, like Red Robin and Applebees, have tabletop devices on which you place your order.

Is it more efficient for the staff? Sure. Your order goes straight into a computer system that informs the kitchen and prepares your bill. Is it better for you and the server? I don't think so.

When guests look at the menu on their phone, they are not learning about the items, whether it be food or beverage. They don't have the ability to ask questions so they order what they know, not what they might want to try. The server doesn't have the ability to share what they know about a dish and what might go with it. It's a very depersonalized mode of dining.

I would much rather see a restaurant manage its staff shortage by serving fewer tables and providing the customer with the best experience.

And I would encourage diners to keep in mind the challenges restaurants are facing and remain calm and patient. Let's take the "hostility" out of "hospitality."

• Izzy Kharasch is president and founder of Hospitality Works, Inc., a bar and restaurant consulting company. He can be reached at (224) 688-3512 and Izzy@hospitalityworks.com.