Constable: Halloween offers no escape from Trump, Clinton, clowns
With all the nastiness of the presidential election, and disturbing news stories about scary clowns wandering our streets, Americans could use some sort of national holiday that offers people an escape from our frightening reality.
Halloween isn't much help this year.
I'm not sure where to draw that line between reality and Halloween. Why are the political masks at one Halloween chain store in a different aisle than all the other scary masks? According to the social media posts after the last debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, voters are far more terrified that the wrong candidate might win than they are scared of witches, goblins and ghouls. The political world has become absurd, ludicrous, crude and buffoonish.
If you don't love that farce, costume shops are ready to send in the clowns. At suburban Halloween stores, the scary clown masks are separated from the friendly clown makeup and outfits. But I'm not sure a suburban police officer working late on Halloween and responding to a report of a clown walking down a dark street will make that friendly/scary distinction.
The paper masks of Clinton and Trump sold out as of Monday morning at Savers Thrift Store in Schaumburg. But they still had a mask of Bill Clinton and a blond hairpiece selling as “Wig Hillary.”
Even at one big Halloween chain, which has stores in Schaumburg, Arlington Heights, Vernon Hills, West Chicago and Naperville, the masks of Hillary Clinton and Trump are in disguise. In packaging descriptions that might test presidential temperaments, the smiling Clinton look-alike is sold as “Lady President Mask,” while the grim Trump version is marketed as “Combover President Mask.”
Parents have been known to take photos of their children trying on the masks in the store, but that doesn't necessarily correlate into sales. Even for adults, the message sent by political masks are tricky. I got into an odd conversation with a stranger a couple of weeks back when that person made a derogatory comment about Trump supporters and then immediately apologized to me, admitting that she assumed I was a Trump supporter because I pretty much had on the costume of a 58-year-old white man who grew up in Indiana.
Is a person who shows up at a Halloween party wearing a Trump mask and a “Great Again” red hat showing support for Trump or mocking the candidate? Perhaps he is just a lazy guy who figures a Trump costume would be far less of a hassle than buying a black cape, frilly white shirt and toy dueling pistol, and then start every party conversation by explaining, “I'm Aaron Burr. You know, the guy who shot Alexander Hamilton? Like in the play with all that rap?”
If you still want to wear a political mask to a Halloween party but don't want anything relevant enough to encourage awkward conversations, I did find a leftover 2008 mask that I bought from the discount bin for $4. I just hope people still remember who Sarah Palin was.