Can people can change for the better?

Can people really change?

Not just change the way they look, or how they talk, or how they act, but who they are?

Certainly we have all had times in our lives where we have felt that we are going through major changes in how we think, feel, behave and so on. And there are times when someone we know well seems to be going through such dramatic changes that he or she seems like a different person.

Yet, in the midst of our own change, or the change of those around us, there also seems to be some core person, or "self," that remains in ourselves, or observing in someone else, something concrete of the old person remains.

Confused? Me too. And depending on which book you pick up, talk show you turn on, or therapist you consult, you'll probably get a different explanation for what such changing is really all about.

Some students of personality believe we are born a certain way and that's the way we stay. We never really change all that much.

Other theoreticians suggest we are born with certain genetic predispositions, but that how we express these innate qualities is significantly shaped by our environment. Often, such a model of personality includes the assumption that our personality is fairly well set in place by the time we are 5 or so, and that after that we make few, if any, real changes in who we are.

A more flexible school of thought suggests that, though we are born with certain predispositions, and though certain periods such as early childhood are very important in our development, our personality undergoes change throughout our lives depending on our environment and other factors.

Finally, to add to the mix, there are still some who see humans as simply blank slates, to be written on by the various relational, cultural, and other environmental factors we encounter.

In all likelihood, who we are is a complex mix of our inheritance, our experience, and, I think, our will. In my work with people in therapy, it seems to me that people can and do decide to be different.

I have seen people make significant changes in their thinking, feeling and behaving because they decided to. And I have seen people change, to some degree, in their basic personality, becoming different people because they choose to.

A few years ago a new question was raised in this discussion. It seemed that certain drugs that were very effective in combating chronic depression and other debilitating mental illnesses also altered people's personalities (or at least as long as they took the drug). Shy people felt and acted more self-confident. Sad people felt happier.

A growing number of people who did not have what we would call severe emotional problems began taking these medications because of their effects on personality. And, as you might expect, quite a discussion began in both the professional and popular literature as to whether we should take a drug that seems to change the very basics of who we are.

I confess I tend to be rather cautious and even skeptical about using such medications, except when dealing with the more severe and debilitating mental illnesses. Yet, I also sympathize with people who struggle with parts of their personalities that they find detract from their ability to lead happy and productive lives.

Though psychotherapy is often a longer and more difficult tool to use to address such issues, I think it is a tool that is likely to produce more positive and more permanent results.

Before choosing between medication and therapy, however, I suggest that people discuss these options with a well-trained mental health professional.

Can people change? Yes. I believe that each of us has the potential to grow and develop throughout our lives, even to the point of altering to some degree our basic selves. Though at times we may need some help, change is always possible.

• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."