Watching your child compete is an emotional experience

It's very easy for parents to lose control of their emotions when it comes to their child in sports.

The most bizarre reaction I have ever seen occurred when my daughter was playing park district softball.

She'll remember this incident.

When a girl made a very hard slide into second base, knocking over the infielder waiting for a throw, the mother of the infielder went racing from the stands onto the field.

She headed right for the girl who had made the hard slide and was standing and dusting herself off.

I thought the mother was going to physically harm the girl. Fortunately, an umpire came over and intervened.

OK, I know this is an extreme example. Parents might think of doing something like that if their child is knocked down or hurt in a game, but that's where it should stop.

Parental misconduct at youth sports events can include booing or taunting, profane language or gestures or just old-fashioned yelling and arguing with game officials, other parents or even players.

It's not right, but I can empathize to a degree with parents who let their emotions get the best of them when their child is involved.

How would I react if somebody tried to hurt my grandson during a play in a sports event?

What if a pitcher deliberately threw inside and knocked him down at the plate?

Would I just sit there and let his dad and mom take over? What would they do?

Or would this mild-mannered reporter go over the top in his reaction?

I hope I never have to find out.

Parents and, yes, grandparents need help handling their emotions during the competition just as much as the kids do.

I appreciate how nerve-racking it is to watch your child compete.

I spent six years keeping the scorebook for every one of my daughter's softball games. I sat there quietly, but the emotions were churning inside when she came to bat or went after a flyball in the outfield.

Later, I wondered if I made a mistake denying my strong emotions. Why not acknowledge them?

As with most aspects of parenting, being actively involved and talking with your children about their life and even your emotions regarding their performance is very important.

Being proud of their accomplishments, sharing in the highs and lows, and talking to them about what happened during the game, including your own behavior if necessary, helps them develop skills and capacities for success in life.

Now it's starting all over again.

Grandson Mark is getting involved in much more competitive sports. This no longer is at the everybody's-happy T-ball level.

How will I handle it if Mark is put in as the soccer goalie and lets in the winning goal in the final seconds?

How will my heart take it if Mark comes up with the bases loaded and his baseball team down by 1 run with two outs in the home half of the final inning and the count works to 3-and-2? Will a called strike three in that situation send me to the ledge -- or to the umpire?

As a grandparent, I know that part of the emotion comes because I want to spare Mark pain, embarrassment and frustration.

Some kids will strike out in a situation like that and shrug it off over a pizza an hour or two later. Other kids will be so crushed that the hurt will linger for a long time.

I know age plays a part in how the young athlete reacts to mistakes or missed opportunities.

Mark may be more sensitive now at age 10 and less sensitive at 15. Or maybe it's the other way around with some kids.

I think the answer to that comes from the self-confidence the child has in other activities at the time, peer influence and success in school.

When I sit there and watch Mark now in these more competitive sports, I can't pretend that my strong emotions don't exist.

I always have to remember that feelings aren't good or bad.

It's what you do or don't do with them that counts.