Protecting teens from cyberbullying
In the old days - you know, 10 or 15 years ago - the schoolyard bullies tended to stay away from students who were surrounded by friends. In a new world of social networking and 100 texts a day, the shield of popularity has thinned.
Desiree Sulzmann learned that in a tragic way, as reported by staff writer Kerry Lester. The friendly, confident freshman at Dundee-Crown High School discovered an acquaintance had started a Facebook group called "People who hate Desi cause she thinks she's better than everyone else." The online attack compounded when two dozen kids joined. Desiree was devastated to the point she hurt herself physically.
Cyberbullying is harassment through websites, e-mail, instant messaging or cell-phone texts. The new formats for teen cruelty make it especially potent. It is instantaneous and often anonymous. The potential audience is vast, and hurtful statements and photos can stay online indefinitely.
A survey by the Illinois attorney general's office found more than a quarter of teens in Illinois have been threatened online. About 40 percent received an inappropriate picture, and 43 percent have said something inappropriate online.
Victims are prone to low self-esteem and increased anxiety. Some face depression, anger or feelings of exploitation. In a well-publicized case in Massachusetts this year, 15-year-old Phoebe Prince, who was bullied online, committed suicide. Nine youths were arrested.
It's a problem that largely remains secret from those who can help. Surveys show most kids don't tell their parents if they are a victim.
Parents may feel helpless and overwhelmed. The teen tech world changes rapidly, and many cannot keep up. If you are a parent of a digitally connected teen, there are ways to take action.
First, educate yourself. Attend informational meetings specifically for families. School districts periodically sponsor free cybersafety presentations; in the past year they were held in Aurora, Bloomingdale, St. Charles, Buffalo Grove, Des Plaines, Libertyville and Antioch. Hospitals, libraries and the attorney general's office also offer workshops throughout the suburbs.
Become familiar with social networking sites' blocking mechanisms. If it seems too complicated, ask a computer-savvy teen.
Let go of the idea you can monitor your child 24/7. Instead, outline expectations and review online or phone communications regularly.
Assure your teen you won't take away phone or computer privileges if he or she becomes a victim of cyberbullying. This may remove one of the fears teens have of reporting the abuse.
Keep home computers in plain sight.
Young victims may feel it's futile to report abuse. They need to know cyberbullying is illegal. Illinois' cyberbullying law, which went into effect last year, makes it a felony for twice making a harassing statement through electronic means.
The problem will grow if victims stay silent and parents remain oblivious. As a victim, Desiree Sulzmann was luckier than some. Her parents cared enough to learn and tried to do something about cyberbullying. That is a lesson for all of us.