Real help requires real people

Four recorded messages and two live — though not lively — operators later, the only thing I’d gotten from the customer service department of my HMO was more irritated.

When I was told that not only could I not speak to the person who could actually answer my question, but I also couldn’t have their name and must instead address my concerns in writing to a still nameless post office box, I hung up in defeat.

Actually, my point is not to deliver a diatribe against HMOs. What I took from this experience, rather, was a reminder — albeit a frustrating one — of how important other people are when we need help.

I can order a tie through a catalog and neither speak to nor see anyone. I need for the person on the other end to process my order correctly, but I don’t really care about much else.

I can make an appointment over the phone, but not need anything else from the person I speak to other than a pleasant voice and efficient scheduling.

I really don’t need to know the guy who mows my lawn, either. But when I wanted him to do something differently, the fact that we’d shared a cold drink a couple of times did help make the change go smoothly.

But when it comes to my physical health, especially the serious stuff, I want to know whom I’m depending on. Or if I’m depressed or my marriage is out of sorts and I need to talk to someone, I want a real person — someone right there who listens and cares.

I guess when it’s really important, I need real people. People I can see, hear, even touch.

Part of it is simply a matter of trust. I want to look in people’s eyes, see the expression on their faces, hear the tone of their voices and get a feel for who they are when I have to count on them.

Part of it is a matter of healing. Medical research has demonstrated that genuine and empathetic human contact is crucial to physical and mental healing. People recover from surgery, get over illnesses or regain their emotional or relational health more quickly and completely when real people are involved in their healing.

So whether we are calling our HMO with a question or questioning the meaning of life, it is often the humanity of the response that heals us. Real help requires real people.

Ÿ The Rev. Ken Potts’ book “Mix, Don’t Blend: A Guide to Dating, Engagement, and Remarriage with Children” is available through book retailers.