Author shows teens how to be in control of their stress

Much of what teens hear, see and experience in today's society puts more and more stress on them as they contemplate the uncertainty of the future.

But pediatrician and author Kenneth Ginsburg strives to remind them that they're still in control of how these pressures will actually affect them.

Ginsburg visited Barrington High School Thursday to speak to most of the student body during the day, and then their parents in the evening.

His emphasis on stress management and resiliency ties into two converging series of programs in the community.

The first, now in its third year, is a recommended book program for parents about the stresses of adolescent life.

But while the books of the first two years largely dealt with identifying the sources of these pressures, Ginsburg's books actually provide the tools for coping with them, Barrington High School PTO member Barb Karon said.

Ginsburg's visit is also timely as this is the first year of the H.E.R.E. in Barrington organization, a resource established last summer in response to four suicides among Barrington High School students during the previous two years.

Courtney Griffin, a student member of the organization, said she felt Ginsburg's message resonated strongly with her classmates as well as tying into the mission of H.E.R.E. in Barrington.

"I think it fits perfectly," she said.

But Ginsburg is the first to say that suicide prevention is not the narrow focus of his message. He wants young people to learn to avoid any and all negative responses to stress, the most common of which are drug and alcohol abuse.

"My nightmare for you guys is not that you get stressed out," Ginsburg told an auditorium of juniors. "My nightmare for you is that you'll become numb."

He spoke specifically of the pressure many of them are currently feeling to get into a good college. These are the kind of tunnel-visioned pressures they'll experience throughout life that can squash their creativity and self-esteem, he said.

Ginsburg warned them against continually sacrificing present happiness and peace of mind for an image of future happiness.

"Life is about balance. It's also about being resilient," he said. "Your parents need to learn how to love you unconditionally, to support you unconditionally."

Ginsburg said a large part of his presentation to parents involves dialing down teens' pressures at home and not passing along their own anxieties about the future.

He warned of the dangers of perfectionism and how it saps people's ability to take necessary risks in life. Perfectionism easily flows from a toxic society which only recognizes the highest levels of achievement, and builds up heroes only to trash them later, he said.

On top of his list of stress-management skills is the ability to make problems manageable by breaking them down into their component parts.

Ginsburg also emphasizes the importance of letting uncontrollable things go as well as the importance of exercise, relaxation, nutrition, sleep and the ability to release emotions appropriately.

He further urged students to contribute to the world, not because of how it might look on a college resume, but to share their gifts with others.

Ginsburg was a physician treating adolescents when he started researching and writing about teen stress. He said that in speaking with his patients, he realized that more often than not, mental factors were playing a greater role in their health than physical ones.