Even when you’re right, it never hurts to cool off

Being right is not the same as arguing right.

Now, I knew my friend was wrong. As upset as he was, he simply hadn’t gotten his facts straight and was just plain wrong.

And the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

So I called a few people, checked out my facts and decided to call him back. I’ll confess, I was probably feeling more than a bit self-righteous and I was probably also looking forward to putting him in his place.

By the time I actually got through to him, I was in my car and on a cellphone. I had plenty of time to rehearse my argument and convince myself just how unfairly I had been treated.

With only perfunctory pleasantries, I launched into my diatribe. Each word was carefully chosen, each phrase artfully constructed. Sentence upon sentence flowed effortlessly together into a wonderfully coherent whole. Not only was my logic beyond dispute, but my elocution was — to be modest — brilliant.

Apparently overwhelmed by the sheer power of my oratory, my friend was uncharacteristically silent. Too silent. Way too silent. Evidently the gods of cellular communication had intervened early on in my verbal assault and broken our connection. My friend had heard only my initial perfunctory remarks and had missed my triumphant presentation in its entirety.

By the next day, and our next chance to talk, he too had realized his error. Without any prompting on my part, he apologized for his previous outburst.

And, in all honesty, after a good night’s sleep the whole issue seemed rather unimportant to both of us anyway. We had more important things to talk about.

I don’t know what would have happened if I had had the chance to deliver my well-planned telephone tantrum. I imagine we would just have had yet another issue to sort through.

Though my argument may have been right, I’m afraid my way of arguing would have been wrong. I guess no matter how righteously right we are, if we let things cool off a bit there is probably going to be a lot less to fight about.

Ÿ The Rev. Ken Potts’ book “Mix, Don’t Blend: A Guide to Dating, Engagement, and Remarriage with Children” is available through book retailers.