Walk to Remember honors babies who died too soon
For most of us - the lucky majority - the signs of parenthood are obvious.
We have the minivans, the schedules full of playdates and soccer practices and school events. And we have our children, who snuggle with us while we read together, who amaze us with every accomplishment and milestone, who throw their arms around us at bedtime and say, "I love you too!"
Yet some parents aren't recognizable this way.
Like the rest of us, they celebrated their pregnancies, planned for their babies and dreamed of the future as a family. But rather than holding their babies in their arms, they carry the grief of losing a child who never really had the chance to live.
They are parents who love their children like we do but don't get to hold their hands, hear their voices, see their smiles. Still, they are parents.
The SHARE Program at Edward Hospital in Naperville strives to help parents like these who have lost babies through miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant death. SHARE offers support to parents as they're experiencing such an unthinkable loss and helps parents work through the grief and pain in support groups.
SHARE also celebrates the short lives of these parents' babies with a memorial ceremony each December and the annual Walk to Remember.
Before the walk steps off at 10:15 a.m. Saturday, Oct. 11, in Naperville, parents will receive a white rose as they hear their babies' names read aloud - an act that publicly remembers and celebrates the children lost. Parents say that often, well-meaning family and friends avoid talking of their babies to avoid dredging up the pain. But parents who walk say hearing their sons' and daughters' names helps them feel connected to their children.
Today, four mothers tell us why they Walk to Remember.
Jen Willford
Not once but twice during her pregnancy, Jen Willford and her partner were faced with deciding whether to risk the lives of some of their triplets in the hopes of saving others. Ultimately, they lost their identical twin boys, but the twins' fraternal sister is thriving. The family, which has added another daughter, will honor the boys in A Walk to Remember. Read her story.
Jennifer Beckman
Jennifer and John Beckman were expecting twin sons when doctors no longer could hold off Jennifer's pre-term labor. Adam and Ryan fought and grew for six weeks until an intestinal infection took Adam. The couple will walk with Ryan, now a year old, in Adam's honor in the Walk to Remember. Read her story.
Marybel Shen
Just three months after losing their daughter at 20 weeks of pregnancy, Marybel and Matt Shen found out they were having another baby. They were extremely cautious - as were their doctors - but their son was born much too early too. Now the couple will celebrate their children's lives in the Walk to Remember. Read her story.
Maureen Mena
Maureen Mena's "pleasant" pregnancy should have brought her a perfect daughter. But during what seemed like labor just a week before her due date, Mena felt the last movements of her Aida Catalina. Mena will honor her daughter by joining the Walk to Remember. Read her story.
If you go
What: A Walk to Remember
Why: Proceeds benefit the Edward Hospital SHARE program to support parents who have lost a baby during and soon after pregnancy
When: Saturday, Oct. 11; registration at 8:30 a.m., memorial service at 9:30 a.m., walk at 10:15 a.m.
Where: Riverwalk Grand Pavilion west of Centennial Beach, 500 W. Jackson Ave., Naperville
Cost: Free, pledges and donations encouraged
Info: napervillewalktoremember.org