1 giant leap for liberals; 1 small step back for gay rights

Hop aboard, Barack Obama voters. Jump on, Democrats. African-Americans, civil rights activists and historians sit up front, just behind benches reserved for those with disabilities. Find a seat, progressives, feminists and abortion rights supporters. There's even a spot on this blue bandwagon for formerly red suburbanites.

Whoa! Not so fast, gays.

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy - tonight is your answer," Obama told a cheering throng in Grant Park and millions more watching worldwide on Election Night.

The answer was a sucker punch for suburban gay couples, who still must only hope America will one day be a place where their dreams are possible.

On a night when liberals celebrated many election victories, voters banned same-sex marriages in Florida and Arizona, and effectively prohibited gays from adopting or even serving as foster parents in Arkansas. In blue California, voters reversed a law that legalized gay marriage.

"I was gutted," says Deeya Pavelle, 53, of Palatine, who mourned the anti-gay votes with her partner Dayle Roberts, 54. "It was absolutely shocking to think one of the most progressive states had voted it down out of ignorance and fear."

Californians loved Obama and voted against an anti-abortion measure - and then took away gays' civil rights that had been on the books.

"I was devastated from the simple standpoint California had it," Roberts says of gay marriage.

"Wow, what a week! First the exhilaration over an Obama win, then the depression over those anti-gay initiatives," e-mails John and Char Cepek of suburban Cook County. John is national board president of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).

Watching Obama's triumph reminded gay rights activist Rick Garcia of the emotional high he'd felt as a child, when his Catholic home displayed a portrait of John Kennedy next to one of the pope.

"And then I saw the California results," says Garcia, the director of public policy for Equality Illinois, a statewide group that fights for the civil rights of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgendered Illinoisans. "I bypassed sadness and tears. I just went immediately to anger. I'd like to say disheartening, but it's really disgusting."

Those of us who support gay rights can find some good news in Connecticut, where same-sex marriages began Wednesday.

Roberts and Pavelle say they are going to Massachusetts (Pavelle's home state and the only other to legalize gay marriage) this month to arrange their 2009 wedding. When Pavelle (who adds her two grown sons will walk her down the aisle) was married to a man, her rights were "a given," she says. "Now, I have to go to another state to get married, and I'm still penalized."

Roberts says gay couples are denied 1,049 rights awarded in heterosexual marriages, including financial benefits such as avoiding capital gains taxes after a death. They can be legally married in Massachusetts.

"But the minute they cross our border, our state doesn't recognize them," Garcia says. "They are still legal strangers."

Yet Garcia sees hope in Illinois. While the state has banned gay marriage since 1996, Garcia says he's banking on suburban lawmakers to legalize gay civil unions in 2009. Trying to avoid the fear and hate that led to defeat in California, House Bill 1826 is called the Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Unions Act.

The law makes it clear that religious institutions won't be forced to marry gays, just as they currently can deny weddings to people who are divorced or nonbelievers. The bill also would give gays the same civil rights and legal responsibilities that heterosexual married couples have.

The suburbs will be key, Garcia predicts.

"I think you are going to see suburban Republican legislators vote for this as well as Democrats in the city," says Garcia, who also claims support in central Illinois. "Our margin of victory really is the moderate suburban legislators- It's going to happen sooner rather than later. There's a setback, a little setback, in California. But I know we are on the right side of history. That may give people a little bit of comfort."