Couple's faith in marriage brings them to meeting with Pope

Jim and Kim Orchard had reached rock bottom in their nine-year marriage and thought there was no where else to turn but divorce court.

That was six years ago, and now the rejuvenated couple will be one of 300 couples from around the world to meet with Pope Benedict XVI next week to celebrate Retrouvaille, the faith-based program they say saved their marriage.

Retrouvaille, a French word meaning rediscovery, is a program that helps couples heal and renew troubled marriages, commonly through weekend retreats emphasizing communication. Following the weekend, couples in the northern Illinois chapter of the organization attend six post-weekend sessions in a three-month span.

The Orchards, bouyed by their own success, have helped make the program work for others.

They have planned meals for weekend retreats, made travel arrangements and even shared their story with dozens of couples at the twice-annual weekend events. Currently, they are community coordinators and are in charge of facilitating the events at the St. Charles Borromeo Pastoral Center in Romeoville.

Their leadership role has earned them an invitation to the program's annual international conference, Sept. 26-28 in Rome.

"Saving marriages has been an important goal of the Pope Benedict XVI papacy, so that made this year's convention being in Rome, even more special," Jim Orchard said. "We were told the pope does not do personal audiences, but we recently learned the Vatican extended an offer for about 300 of our volunteers to have a private papal audience."

The meeting will take place at 10 a.m. Sept. 26 at Castle Gandolfo, the pope's summer residence southeast of Rome.

The Orchards call the meeting with the pope a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

"The fact that we get to meet the pope is God's work in our eyes, especially considering the journey we've gone through as a family," Kim Orchard said. "This trip is a blessing beyond our wildest dreams. We're very proud for all of the Retrouvaille communities across the world."

Jim said he hopes to come away from the meeting with a fresh outlook on life and his faith.

"I envision the meeting will be a renewal of strength and a reaffirmation of our faith," Jim Orchard said. "No marriage is easy. Sometimes you need that inner strength and I think this trip will provide that."

Kim also hopes the visit will draw attention to the program that she said helps thousands of couples around the world but could help many more if people knew about it.

"I could say 'Retrouvaille' to just about anyone and either get a blank stare or be asked what that is," she said. "We can only help the couples that reach out to us or are pointed in our direction."

The Northern Illinois chapter has communities in Chicago, Rockford, and Joliet. Each community hosts two weekend programs per year.

During the weekend phase, a team of three couples and a priest give a series of presentations to roughly 30 to 40 couples in attendance. Each of the three couples on the team have completed the program and have their own stories to share. Kim Orchard said even the priest will discuss some of his personal relationship stories.

The program's mission statement states couples are encouraged to put the past behind them and start rediscovering each other.

"A bulk of the weekend content focuses on teaching couples how to communicate to start the healing process," Kim Orchard said. "Once we learn how to communicate we can rediscover our marriage after a period of misery or disillusionment, as we call it."

Couples are then encouraged to use what they've learned in the post-session meetings where discussion topics could include conflict management, intimacy, sex and trust.

Careful to point out that the program is not a miracle cure, the Orchards said many couples leave the weekend retreat with a different outlook, no longer focused on divorce as the only answer.

"We've kind of grown up with the mentality that if something doesn't work, we just throw it away," Kim Orchard said. "But we learned that the covenant of marriage is just that. You need to put your all into it."

To learn more about Retrouvaille or to find a community in your area, call (800) 470-2230 or log on to www.retrouvaille.org.