Glendale Heights father denies trying to harm sons

He is accused of the unspeakable -- dousing his two adoring sons in gasoline and lighting them on fire.

Kaushik J. Patel admits his actions led to their deaths, but the Glendale Heights father insisted Friday he only meant to harm himself in a botched suicide attempt.

"It's not true," Patel said. "It wasn't murder. No one understands. I love my kids. I was not trying to kill them, only me."

Patel spoke to the Daily Herald for about 1½ hours Friday from behind bullet-proof glass in a DuPage County jail visiting room.

Patel, 34, is charged with causing the fatal injuries Nov. 18 after luring his sons with new toy cars into a bathroom, dousing them with gasoline and igniting the fire on the 1800 block of Harvest Lane.

The father also suffered severe burns. Afterward, he drove with his children to his older brother's house about five miles away in Hanover Park. A relative called 911.

The boys weren't expected to survive that first night, but they fought for months inside Loyola Medical Center's burn unit in Maywood. His youngest son, Om, 4, was the first to die Jan. 17. Vishv, 7, survived surgeries but took a sudden turn for the worse. He died Feb. 19.

Kaushik Patel began to cry Friday when speaking of their deaths and how he was not allowed to attend their funerals. The father said he never lifted a hand to his children, not even a spanking, and would not have harmed them that day.

"I just prayed (they would live)," he said. "I said, 'Take me. Leave my two kids.'"

Later, he added: "I think about them every day. I really miss them and my wife, too."

Patel, who speaks limited English and still wears bandages from his burns, said he was suicidal that day while struggling with family problems involving his mother-in-law, who came to live with the couple about three years earlier. He said the tension led to marital problems.

"I had a brain problem," he said when asked why he was suicidal. "I don't know why. In my heart, no one cared. So much pressure. If I was home, there was a problem. If I was out, there was a problem."

His wife, Nishaben, was not home when the fire broke out. Patel said the family was supposed to attend a party, but he told his wife he and the kids would meet her later.

Patel said he took his sons to Wal-Mart to buy new toys and they ate at their favorite restaurant, Taco Bell. He admitted buying gasoline that same day at a service station.

Back at home, Patel said he bathed his sons and then, alone in the bathroom, poured about 25 percent of the gasoline container over his head.

He said his children were in another room watching television. Patel said the door suddenly opened and his two boys burst back into the bathroom with the toys. The father said he accidentally spilled the gasoline on them.

"I don't know what happened," he said. "I was not trying to get my kids. I was trying only for myself."

He recalls the lighter in his right hand, but Patel said he doesn't remember flicking it on. Afterward, Patel said he called his brother, who told him to drive to his house.

Patel said he had some alcohol that day, but not much. His criminal history includes a DUI arrest one year earlier. When questioned, the father said he did not have a history of mental illness.

Authorities aren't buying his accident story. Both boys suffered much more severe burns than their father. Authorities said Patel also made incriminating statements to his brother that it was a botched murder-suicide attempt.

A DuPage County grand jury is expected next week to indict Patel on first-degree murder charges for both his sons' deaths. The father is being held on a $10 million cash bond. He is due in court March 17.

Patel said he is not guilty. When asked why he granted media interviews Friday, he said he wanted to let people know that he is a "true guy." He plans to fight the charges.

The father said he is devastated by his sons' deaths. Patel said he thinks about them every day in jail, recalling how they all played together at the park, took long drives in the car, watched cartoons like "Tom and Jerry" or how he used to drop them off and pick them up from school.

Patel said his wife is somewhat supportive but has not come to visit him in jail. Nishaben Patel obtained an order of protection to bar her husband from seeing the boys when they were alive in the hospital.

The couple wed in an arranged marriage in their native India in 1997, five years after he had immigrated to the United States.

Patel said the last time he saw his children was the day of the fire. He said an injured Vishv asked him in the car if his burned skin would get better. The father said he tried to comfort his boys, both buckled in seat belts.

He said his sons visit him in his dreams. They ask him the same question he often heard from them when they were alive.

"They tell me, 'Dad, I want to come with you.'"