Generations aren't as different as we like to think

Listening to a young minister preaching in a church I was visiting, I found myself feeling somewhat condescending in response to her intellectualized, dry and mind-dulling sermon.

Obviously she had listened to her biblical theology professors well, taken copious notes and was now intent on imparting her new found wisdom to the biblically illiterate in the pews.

I was rather enjoying my sarcastic inner critique of her efforts until I realized that she sounded a bit like I did as a young preacher some 30 years ago. No, actually she sounded exactly like I did as a young preacher 30 years ago.

To be honest, I still sounded that way sometimes.

Most of us in our late 40s and 50s live and work in families, groups and organizations where the new generation of our children are flexing their leadership muscles. It's not that they're taking over, but they are asserting themselves as autonomous, independent adults, colleagues and even parents.

And they are making mistakes; sometimes lots of mistakes. As young adults they simply lack the knowledge, skill or experience to get it right most -- or even much -- of the time.

And they're, well, different than we are. They see the world differently; work, play and relate differently; and have different values than we do.

So they threaten us. What if they turn out to be smarter, more talented and more successful than we are? What if they don't respect us? What if they don't need us?

Let's stop that line of thinking. For the truth is, we were such newly minted adults not that many years ago. And our parents' generation had some of the same feelings about us.

You know, one of the interesting advantages of middle age is the perspective it can provide on being a young adult. Though our chronological age may indicate we have attained a significant distance from those early adult years, our memories often bridge this distance with sometimes startling and uncomfortable clarity.

These memories can help us bridge the gap between today's young adults and us in middle-age.

Each generation's experience is both different and the same. We all play out the same developmental themes, but in different environments. We all struggle with what it means to be an adult, to make choices, to be responsible, to be connected and meaning in life.

Our struggling in the '60s and '70s was different from today in the 21st century, but the underlying issues are the same.

Our memories of our own journey into adulthood can inform and temper our response to today's fellow travelers. That doesn't mean we assume they are just like we were, or that we assault them with stories of our own young adult years.

We just need to remind ourselves that we've been there, too, and be a bit more patient, more accepting and even more secure than perhaps our parents' generation was with us.