Big Brothers Big Sisters of Lake Co. names top mentors

They do not serve as parents. They do not discipline. They do not preach.

They become a friend to a child. They are someone who will play games, go to movies or simply listen.

That, said Deepa Shankar from Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Lake County, is what Inez Hanan and Scott Wineberg do.

"They provide a positive role model to each child," she said.

Named the top Big Brother and Big Sister in Lake County, Hanan of Ingleside and Wineberg of Buffalo Grove were named runners-up as the top Sister and Brother in the state.

Big Sister to two

Hanan got involved in the organization's corporate program in 2002 while working at Deerfield-based Baxter. She knew she would visit the child once a week during her lunch hour. But she did not realize how deep her little sister's need was until they began to interact.

"You are the one constant in their life. It makes a huge difference for these kids," she said.

Hanan also serves as a Big Sister in the community-based program where they are not limited to meeting at school. Hanan and her little sister Torchia enjoy playing games, going skating or to the movies. Torchia and Hanan have celebrated three years together.

"When I talk to her, it's fun hanging out," said the 13-year-old of Round Lake Beach. "I can't imagine life without her."

Shankar said Hanan is the only volunteer who has two little sisters. Normally, volunteers meet with one child because the organization prides itself on offering one-on-one mentoring. But Hanan balances it out.

"Somehow, she has made it seem so easy. She balances it all really well," Shankar said.

It was as she and Torchia were making photo albums featuring activities they have done together someone asked when she thought the photo album would be completed.

"She said, 'I don't see this ending. This is something we will continue to do as long as we can,' " Hanan said. "I hoped it would be like that. This does transcend time and goes as long as the child needs you. I want to be a part of her life."

Torchia added, "I look forward to talking to her about college. I really want to go to college."

Hanan said she has seen remarkable changes in each child. They become more outgoing, better students and better communicators. Torchia said she was once shy but is now more open to talking to other people.

"Each child gains confidence in what they can do and who they are," Hanan said.

But Hanan could not imagine what she would receive in return.

"They have taught me that much more patience, that much more tolerance."

Filling a void for a child

Working as a supervisor in the juvenile division of the Lake County public defenders office, Wineberg saw a flier to volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters.

"The flier asked, 'Can you spare an hour of your time?' I found that I could," Wineberg said.

He said many children he sees at work are not bad, they are bored or do not get enough attention and use those as reasons to break the law. He wanted to try to fill a void in a child's life.

"In my heart, if they were transplanted into better circumstances, they could be people you'd be proud to associate with," he said.

Wineberg added it can be overwhelming working with juvenile delinquents because he must wear many hats, including lawyer, confidant, surrogate parent, probation officer and therapist. But as a Big Brother, he has one role: mentor.

Wineberg has been matched with 12-year-old Frankie Torres for three years, meeting him once a week at lunch in his Waukegan school. Frankie said he enjoys talking and playing games with his big brother, including Connect 4, Battleship and Uno.

"At Connect 4, I usually win. The others, it's 50/50," Wineberg said.

What helps in interacting with his little brother, Wineberg adds, is Frankie is the same age as his twin daughters.

"I know scholastically where he's at. That has helped strengthen our relationship," he said.

Wineberg said he has helped Frankie through tough times. But he hopes Frankie knows he always will have a consistent adult male in his life who will not yell at or discipline him.

"I used to be rude to people. When I started talking to Scott, I learned it's not right. He has turned my life completely around," Frankie said.

Shankar said Wineberg has transformed Frankie's life by setting a good example and consistently being there.

"He goes from Vernon Hills to Waukegan to meet his little brother 35 to 40 minutes. For a man to drop everything in the middle of the week to see his little brother, that shows commitment," Shankar said.

Taking care of children is second nature as part of his job and being a father. But he said being a Big Brother is fulfilling. Anyone who can find the time ought to do it.

"It's such a great feeling to interact with someone who looks forward to seeing you," he said. "I need my little brother as much as he needs me."