Full house at video poker sites won't make state flush

A buddy and I were reminiscing about all the colorful characters (i.e. generally self-destructive drunks with gambling problems and anger issues) we've known when he told a story that seems timely given Illinois' budget woes.

An acquaintance needed money and had reliable information from a trusted source that promised an economic windfall. A horse at Arlington Park was a sure thing. So the guy cashed his pay check and put his entire two weeks of salary on the horse to win.

The horse finished second. Eighty hours of the man's hard work over the last 14 days vanished in about a minute and 11 seconds (1 minute 12 seconds if you go by the horse he wagered on).

After exercising his anger demons with a verbal tirade against his equine misfortune, the gambler sedated his sorrow with beer.

At least the state got a share of the tax money on that alcohol.

Now Illinois needs money, and politicians seem convinced that video poker is the sure thing to provide the economic windfall they seek.

Gov. Pat Quinn once railed against the idea of expanding gambling in the state for fear our shortsighted politicians would "make Illinois the Las Vegas of the Midwest." Now the governor, blinded by his need for money in the state coffers, is flirting with allowing video poker machines in bars, truck stops and VFW halls.

"We're going to add between 45,000 and 60,000 machines and we're going to force them into every nook and cranny in this state whether towns like Schaumburg want them or not," predicts state Rep. Paul Froehlich, a Democrat from Schaumburg, who says he will vote against the proposed sixfold increase in gambling machines.

"I don't think it's good public policy. It's not a way to pay for government," says Froehlich, who says the machines will "soak the poor."

Video poker proponents say those machines could bring inasmuch as $369 million a year for the state. I don't doubt that. But that means those machines will have to take $1.5 billion from the people of Illinois to make that happen. We gripe now about how our tax dollars get frittered away through inefficient, wasteful and at times scandalous government, but we'd be mutinous if only 25 percent of our tax dollars actually ended up funding state programs.

Video poker machines are just another tax-collection service. The video poker machines at a bar might tax only the drunk, the stupid, the bored and the desperate, but it still amounts to a very inefficient tax on some residents of Illinois. Casinos shouldn't take money from someone too drunk to have any common sense, but a video poker machine isn't going to make that distinction.

These machines inject gambling (and in some cases life-ruining addictions) to populations that never would have visited a traditional casino.

"It makes it so accessible," Froehlich says. "We're going from nine casinos to thousands of bars, truck stops and veterans halls. I don't think anyone can deny this will make more problem gamblers."

A video poker machine at a VFW hall is a way for politicians to target our veterans, many of whom are elderly and all of whom already have paid a price for the rest of us.

If gambling is a noble revenue source, why do politicians place this new tax only on drinkers, truckers and veterans? Why not put the machines in churches, malls and wherever political fundraisers are held? If they are so good for the state, why not mandate video poker machines in private homes next to carbon-monoxide detectors?

Just as there are plenty of loser stories behind every winning lottery ticket, the losers outnumber the winners at video poker machines.

If gambling were the panacea for budget problems, Nevada would be our role model. Instead, the state that is home to Las Vegas leads the nation in property foreclosures. In 2008, 77,693 Nevada homes were in foreclosure. Video poker machines no doubt made some money for the state off those people, but not enough to pay for all the state services those homeless families are going to need.

If politicians really think gambling can fix our budget, why don't we just take all our tax monies and bet it on a favorite horse? Only this time, maybe bet the horse across the board just in case it finishes second.