Grief & healing: The light was pink and magical

Have you ever been in a city that was pink? I have. And I’ve never forgotten it. The city was Marrakech, Morocco.

When they answer the phone at Disneyland, the staff always says, “Have a magical day.” But Disneyland is not magical compared to the pink glow in Marrakech — that glow is magical. Somehow the light reflects off the streets and buildings with a pink aura.

In Marrakech, even the inside of our hotel suite at La Mamounia was pink.

My dear Baheej had a wonderful ability to transport us to amazing places and experiences. He died 12 years ago, but this memory and those of many other travels together seem almost like yesterday.

I think these vivid memories are wonderful, but they are also the foundation for long-term grief.

For instance, I’m constantly reminded of those happy years together whenever I run across a movie, travel show or novel that features one of our favorite places.

And we have a great collection of travel books because it was our habit to buy an illustrated book as a souvenir of the place. Once in a while I take one off the shelf and page through it. Revives memories, but reminds me he’s not here. Happy and sad.

But I am especially reminded of Baheej’s curiosity and sense of adventure. He was a traveler at heart. When I think of it, that’s why we met. He came to the U.S. to study and we got together, really by chance. Or fate.

As the years moved along, he continued to travel a lot — because he was a professor and had the summers off. Once I was working in business, I could not travel with him on long trips. Just on my vacation, two or three weeks a year.

We made the most of those few weeks. I’d usually join him wherever he was, which was wonderful. And I traveled a lot on my own for work.

The point is: I think most relationships and marriages take a lot of coordination, give and take. Anyhow, we found our way and it worked for us. Baheej made ours very special. I still miss him everyday.

When he was in Morocco and loved it there, he thought I should see it, so we went. And it was magical.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@aol.com.