Hope and help for adolescents and young adults in mental distress
A recent survey of adolescents and young adults by the children’s advocacy organization Common Sense Media found some disturbing trends.
By and large, the young people surveyed are pessimistic about their futures, bored in school, disillusioned with politicians, and — perhaps most importantly — they don’t think their mental health is … well, healthy.
They attribute their mental health issues to social media, bullying and the internet in general. As a consultant for families of loved ones with mental illness, I can attribute some of the issues to self-medication, which can turn into substance use and abuse.
Adolescence and young adulthood are critical times in the development of mental well-being or mental illness. According to the National Institutes of Health, studies have found that roughly half of all lifetime mental disorders start by the mid‐teens and three‐fourths by the mid‐20s. Severe episodes are usually preceded by less severe ones, which can easily be overlooked or explained away by hormonal changes, school pressures and emerging sexuality.
There’s always hope. Parents and guardians who pay attention to signs of mental distress and take action can often help their child emerge stronger and healthier.
What to look for
Signs and symptoms of mental distress or mental illness in adolescents can vary dramatically with the individual. Any significant changes in eating — either too little or too much, or a greater desire for sweets — can be a sign of depression.
Parents may also observe other changes that look like symptoms of depression:
• Sleep patterns: trouble getting out of bed or staying up too late
• Hygiene and cleanliness
• Keeping their personal space habitable
• Keeping up with school
• Not hanging out with friends
• Skipping school
• Opting out of family activities
Every adolescent or young person does one or more of these things at some time. But it’s important to pay attention to patterns of behavior that seem to last for a significant period of time.
Common causes of depression in adolescents can stem from hormonal or brain chemistry changes, social detachment or losing a friend group. Significant life changes in a family, such as divorce, a new baby, remarriage, the onset of a blended family or moving to a new community or school, can cause mood dysregularity.
The death of a beloved relative, friend or significant adult in the child’s life can also lead to depression.
What you can do
Freud didn’t call it “the talking cure” for nothing. Research has shown that talking through emotional distress with a trusted friend or therapist can be helpful.
But young people often find it difficult to express feelings of depression. When asked about it, they frequently will respond with “I'm fine” or “leave me alone.” It’s not that they don’t want to talk about it — it’s simply that they don’t have the words.
I like to use different tools to override their inability to express themselves. You can ask a child what color they feel like — blue for sad or yellow for happy perhaps. They can also characterize their feelings in terms of food: spicy (angry, anxious); bland (blah); or sweet (happy or content).
If a child is expressing a feeling of sadness or anxiety, a parent can dig deeper, looking for underlying causes. But don’t try to be your child’s therapist.
Sometimes their feelings are fleeting and will go away as quickly as they came, with adjustment to new situations or circumstances. Children tend to act differently at school than at home, so ask teachers if they notice any changes.
Take all of this information and your concerns to your child's primary care physician. The doctor can perform a screening and, together, you can decide whether therapy is warranted. The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, in fact, says there’s modest evidence that screening all adolescents between 12 and 18 for depression is beneficial.
Most importantly, be patient and calm. Your child will recognize your anxiety and feed into it, but if you are calm, loving and supportive, you are letting them know you’ll get through this — together.
• Bonnie Lane is Principal Consultant with Family Support Services in Northbrook, specializing in supporting families of loved ones with mental illness. She is a graduate of National Louis University with master's degrees in both developmental and counseling psychology. She is also a certified mediator and domestic violence counselor.