Jim O'Donnell: Bracket five-star - UCLA to win, plus quick pickin' to a Final Four
ONE OF THE HEARTENING THINGS about the madness of March bracketology is that all Americans - red, blue, green, yellow, to be determined - can come together to fall flat together.
Isn't that grand?
Hand in hand, pick by pick - sliced, diced and down the tubes.
Wasn't that one of the things that James Madison, Dick Vitale and other founding fathers insisted upon when ESPN was written into the cable Bill of Rights?
More on picking NCAA men's winners in a moment.
FIRST, FROM THE MYSTIC HOLLOW of Odenac the Magnificent:
UCLA will win the national championship. A native Chicagoan named Amari Bailey - a freshman star on Mick Cronin's Bruins - will make a play "for the ages" near the end of the title game.
Either Jim Nantz or Bill Raftery or Grant Hill will invoke memories of a freshman named Michael Jordan, who produced a similar shining moment for North Carolina in the 1982 championship classic.
(For the cosmically conscious, Bailey and Jordan share a birthday of February 17, only 41 years apart.)
While Bailey is starring - and the 6-5 combo guard will, either on or off ball - CBS cameras will be completing a three-week infatuation with Johanna Leia, Bailey's mother and once a top fashion model.
(Warner Bros. Discovery Sports - the rebranded Turner - will also be in the clicks mix for the first two weekends.)
LEIA SKIRTED FAME with the Wilhelmina and Ford modeling agencies. She was also one of the stars of the short-shot Lifetime reality series "Bringing Up Ballers" (2017).
Since then, she and her son moved to the Los Angeles area. That was so he could play alongside - and outshine - Bronny James (LeBron James Jr.) at national-class Sierra Canyon School.
Ms. Leia, 42, has become a "fashion nova," with her own brand of online sportswear and a net worth reportedly approaching $10M. Bailey's father is former NFLer Aaron Bailey (Colts WR, 1994-98).
Now, the single mother - according to WGCI-FM (107.5) morning glory Leon Rogers, "Dates some of the 'flyest' brothers around."
"FLYEST" THAN MOST WAS past paramour Drake. He's the Canadian-spawned hip-hopper and basketball groupie who has made zillions recording tales of urban angst and fly-by love.
Two years ago, Drake rented out Dodger Stadium so he and Leia could savor an open-aria candlelight dinner for two in front of the third-base dugout at the otherwise empty ballpark.
Some said it was a promotional stunt for his "Certified Lover Boy" tracks, a 2021 release that set both Apple Music and Spotify records for first-day streaming. Drake withdrew it from consideration for a 2022 Grammy despite the mock-and-savor single "Way 2 Sexy."
WHATEVER THE "WAY 2," THE NCAA SINGLE is that Amari Bailey, Mick Cronin and UCLA are about to wake up the sky-piloting echoes of John Wooden, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Bill Walton.
Red, blue, green or yellow, bracket on it
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NOW, ABOUT PICKING THOSE BRACKETS:
One year ago, the Daily Herald sports & media desk presented a quick study guide to greatly winnow the 68-team field to a Final Four.
After that, speculators were left on their own to figure out the semifinals and the championship game.
The system - known as MODage ("MODE-ij") - held up. With an extra year of results, it's based on analysis of the last seven tournament (2015-19; 2021-22).
THE FIVE EASY PIECES:
• Pick the Final Four first;
• Throw out last year's Final Four. Today, that means Kansas, Duke and the not-ins from North Carolina and Villanova; Of the 28 Final Four team since 2015, only North Carolina (2016-17) has repeated;
• Pick one No. 1 seed. (Note: Four of the last seven champs have been No. 1s from the South; a fifth winner was a South-2.);
• Pick two schools from however many remain in the MODage system from seeds 1-through-3 in other regions (a max cluster of nine less Kansas and Duke); and,
• Find "The Kookallah." That will be the unexpected Final Four participant from the 28 teams seeded anywhere from No. 5 through No. 11. Fourth seeds, for whatever reason, remain a haunted lot in recent tournaments.
A HINT ON THE LONGSHOT: Since 2014, the streaker has been associated with a Power Six basketball conference (Big 12, Big Ten, Big East, ACC, SEC, Pac-12) with the lone exception of Porter Moser and Loyola (Missouri Valley, 2018).
Intriguing 2023 busters - regardless of conference affiliation: Indiana, Mississippi State, St. Mary's and - gulp - Florida Atlantic (although the Owls seem more like last season's Elite Eight 15-seed blurs from St. Peter's).
Most probable championship game: UCLA-Houston.
Backups: UCLA-Texas, UCLA-Kansas State. (Check final regional assignments for impossibilities.)
Program most likely to face future NCAA sanctions: Kelvin Sampson and Houston (1-to-9 with some books; the Cougars may be spared only if Texas once again secedes from The Union or super booster Tilman Fertitta buys the Federal Reserve).
But secession can wait. Tonight, the hunt for April bracket deliverance begins.
• Jim O'Donnell's Sports and Media column appears Sunday and Thursday, Reach him at jimodonnelldh@yahoo.com. All communications may be considered for publication.