Jim O'Donnell: Ten-star lock to scratch a risk itch and win on Super Bowl Sunday
SUPER BOWL SUNDAY TENDS TO BRING OUT the speculator within.
From Q-tips at the American Legion Hall with their $1 squares to seriously buried types and their illegal online accounts in Costa Rica and beyond, America bets.
The goal of any "playah," a former pit boss once counseled, is to both satisfy the need for "event adrenaline" and not be behind at the end of the day.
Today, that means whether Patrick Mahomes as an underdog (!) cashes or Jalen Hurts avoids becoming past tense ("Jalen hurt."), tap into the chicken-little piggy bank.
But don't lose.
The casino man offered what he deemed "a perfect system" to always get what you want.
HIS BASE GUIDELINES:
• Decide the absolute maximum you're willing to risk;
• Before Super Bowl 57 kicks off (FOX, 5:37 p.m.), purchase something up to that sum that's always been on a rainy day wish list. ("A new sound system, a TaylorMade Stealth 2 Plus driver, a nice sweater, Cartier gold-on-gold sunglasses, a massage chair, new shoes from Nordie's, something that's been swirling in your outer limits," he said.);
• Take the fresh purchase home and put it next to the primary TV.
THEN, THE WISE OLD CHIP WATCHER SAID: "Sit back and watch the game for entertainment value only. Your risk money has already assured material gain.
"If your bet loses, you're way ahead. If your bet would have cashed, you've jumped close to four hours of emotional rollercoastering and fast-forwarded to a happy ending."
The mere thought of wagering, he concluded, will have served as a motivator to go out and acquire something gainful.
Not a choice gaming corporations want to hear about.
But a sure way to prudently scratch a risk itch on Super Bowl Sunday.
BURT BACHARACH DID NOT CALL The Insouciant Hotline every day.
As a matter of record, it only happened once. That was last April. But when word of the debonair composer's passing at age 94 was announced, the feeling of surrealism came back around.
The linking was because of horse racing. Specifically, a very colorful former jockey named Ronnie Ebanks was publishing his own autobiography. Bacharach - long a passionate owner in the game - had graciously agreed to provide the foreword.
Ebanks wanted a little help with structure and Bacharach agreed to outsource.
BACHARACH STARTED BUYING THOROUGHBREDS in the late 1960s. That was about the time when serious songwriting royalties were flowing toward he and lyricist Hal David.
He campaigned horses primarily on the classic southern California circuit - Santa Anita, Hollywood Park and Del Mar. The Queens (NYC) native and Ebanks bonded when the ex-jock and fellow agent Joe Ferrer quietly ruled aspects of the upscale late summers at Del Mar.
Two Bacharach runners made it to the Kentucky Derby. Reined by trainer Dick Mandella, both ran out - Soul of the Matter (fifth in 1994) and Afternoon Deelites (eighth in 1995). Soul of the Matter would later give the great Cigar all he could handle in the inaugural Dubai World Cup.
THE PHONE CHAT LAST SPRING lasted for about 25 minutes. Bacharach and wife Jane Bacharach kindly provided the thoughts and Arlington Heights then quickly organized them for the Ebanks memoir - "Staying in the Race."
There was no mention of music. That is, until the wind down, when the sportswriter had to say:
"Burt, finally, thank you for all of the great music."
The thematic genius replied: "Oh, yes ... yes. Certainly. Thank you. Goodbye now."
STREET-BEATIN':
Industry experts estimate that Tom Brady's arrival in FOX's No. 1 NFL booth - if it ever happens - will cost Greg Olsen about $7M per year. Olsen, who'll work his first Super Bowl alongside Kevin Burkhardt on the Chiefs-Eagles, is making close to $10M this season. ...
If it seems there are more beer brands being advertised on today's big game, that's because there will be. Anheuser-Busch declined to pay for a 34th consecutive SB as sole suds pusher. (The spirits of Ed McMahon and senior Clydesdales apparently were not consulted.) ...
Michael Irvin wasted no time in slapping Marriott International with a $100M lawsuit after being pulled off NFL Network coverage of SB 57. A Marriott employee at a downtown Renaissance in Phoenix alleged some sort of impropriety by Irvin during a brief lobby encounter Tuesday. He's vehemently insisting that nothing happened. ...
Chris Collins and frothy Northwestern will need "Hoosiers" style intensity when Zach Edey and No. 1 Purdue come calling today (BTN, 1 p.m.). The Wildcats are currently projected as a No. 9 seed in the NCAA tournament; Illinois is a No. 6. ...
And Boston's Teresa Hanafin, on why she's rooting for PHL in SB 57: "I'm worried about Mahomes and the Chiefs starting to impinge on the legacy of Tom Brady and the Patriots. Not yet, grasshopper, not yet."
• Jim O'Donnell's Sports and Media column appears Sunday and Thursday. Reach him at jimodonnelldh@yahoo.com. All communications may be considered for publication.