O'Donnell: Super Bowl ... Super Blah - was there any doubt a dramatic ending was in the flags?

AS THE SOPHISTICATION of the National Football League has grown, a conspiracy theorist can do one of two things when watching a Super Bowl:

• Suspend all reasonable suspicion and enjoy the contrived theatricality of it all, or;

• Brim with bemusement as the braying mass is once again satiated with "a great football game."

SB 56 between the Rams and the Bengals was certainly not great football and in the end, strained to stay within the boundaries of believable illusion.

THE LEAGUE SAW TO IT that Stan Kroenke - age 74 - got his $7 billion's worth by "winning" a Lombardi Trophy.

(That $7 billion accounts for the cost of the immodest SoFi Stadium plus the amount of money it took Kroenke to close all tabs with the city of St. Louis for moving the Rams.)

Matthew Stafford - the fair-to-middlin' QB for the victorious LAR - was going to be enabled to "engineer" the winning TD if referee Ron Torbert and crew had to throw yellow flags in the red zone until after midnight.

Torbert is a Harvard Law School grad, so he certainly understands how to properly "settle the dust."

THAT "SETTLING" INCLUDED conveniently missing the blatant offensive pass interference/face mask infraction committed by Tee Higgins on Joe Burrow's 75-yard touchdown toss "past" L.A.'s Jalen Ramsey to get Cincinnati going in the second half.

That call was so obvious that even officiating dissector Gene Steratore, speaking on Westwood One after the game, said: "If you're an official looking up at the replay on the big board after a play like that, you wish you could have it back in real time."

Hundreds of millions of dollars eventually changed hands on a blown extra point - atypically ruled "organic" by The Conspiracy Theory Desk.

But most importantly for Roger Goodell and partners, NBC Sports got to claim a total viewership of close to 106 million - up significantly from SB 55, including a bump to 101 million on linear TV.

THE HALFTIME SHOW - featuring an array of rap and hip-hop artists averaging 48 years old - seemed to underscore the fact that NFL imagineers need to do some very serious "think work" to come up with a new kind of halftime show.

Unintentional highlight of that 20-minute interlude was watching Dr. Dre - age 56 - rhyme tales of the street beat while looking like George Foreman without a grill.

(And "grill" - even by old Brill Building June-moon-spoon lyrical standards - is a very easy word to rhyme with.)

IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, Super Bowl 56 made it clearer than ever that to thrive, the NFL must constantly present a compelling TV product, especially on its biggest stages.

If a majority of the analytically neutered ever realize that a holding infraction not called is quite frequently more important to the flow of a game than one that is, the league's got problems.

And wasn't it absolutely magical that of the seven final playoff games contested this season, six were decided by exactly 3 points?

That's entertainment ... if you're Vince McMahon.

Young America wanted a Burrow win. Conspiracy theorists wanted orchestrated folly, knowing a dramatic ending awaited.

But given the event's sustained status as a seasonal opiate for the masses, how many are going to lose any snooze over it?

STREET-BEATIN': When NBC switched from SB 56 to the Beijing Winter Olympics Sunday night, the network lost more than four out of every five viewers. (Stunning that the electric Mike Tirico and Kaillie Humphries in the inaugural monobob couldn't make a difference in that exodus.) ...

News that Jon "Boog" Sciambi and Jim Deshaies have re-signed "for years to come" on the Cubs' sagging Marquee Network is another sign the operation is an overwhelming disappointment. Pointing the finger at network chief Mike McCarthy is silly; He's just cashing paychecks involving an MLB organization that's back lost in space. ...

Charles Barkley is tripling down on his intent to retire from his regular TNT studio gig after the 2023-24 NBA season. He'll be 61 years old with far too high recognition and likability factors to walk away from major media. ...

Squirmy moment during NBC's SB pregame was Maria Taylor's interview with Matthew Stafford and wife Kelly Stafford. (The couple didn't appear entirely comfortable with each other; maybe Bob Eubanks and a "Newlyweds Game" format would have helped.) ...

Very local line: Great prep basketball moment Friday night when the girls of upscaling Round Lake face top-seeded Stevenson on the home floor of the powerful Patriots. RL coach Molly Hennig has done a sterling job with the Panthers (28-3), who just aren't supposed to be that good. Star trio includes Amari Cole, Lilli Burton and Taylor Major. ...

And Bruce Wolf, after the late-game heroics of MVP Cooper Kupp in SB 56: "This is the first Kupp to determine the outcome of an NFL championship since Irv Kupcinet was an official in the Bears' 73-0 championship in 1940." (And dat's right, Jack.)

• Jim O'Donnell's Sports & Media column appears Thursday and Sunday. Reach him at jimodonnelldh@yahoo.com.