Got Kids? Just Say No!
NORTHBROOK, IL (SEPTEMBER 2017) - As the new school year is underway, and North Shore kids are feeling the back-to-school pressures, one local family counselor explains why parents need to 'Know When to Say No'. "As parents, we are scared to say no for fear of how our kids will react," states Robin Mitzen, LC CADC, a Northbrook-based family life counselor, whose career spans almost three decades throughout Chicago's northern suburbs, focusing on the philosophy that kids actually want to be told, "no", and those that are told, "no" are thriving.
Parents need to be educated on knowing when to say no to their kids. "You cannot walk on egg shells around your children. They want you to put your foot down and set boundaries so they know you care!" states Mitzen. "The more strict you are, the more successful your kids are in life."
Kids today are scared of not having supervision, and may not feel safe everywhere. They just want to be kids and know that they have parents watching out for them, asking questions, and truly being integrated in their lives. We live in a day and age when parents are not always present, whether before or after school, or on the weekends. This allows children to try to take control and test the limits of their parents, even if they know they are making bad decisions.
Mitzen asks, "Since when did we become afraid of our own children? Why are we letting them threaten us?" Parents need to stay in charge, and show their kids they care by saying no!
As a family counselor, Mitzen's successes span suicide prevention, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, divorce, and more. She realizes that North Shore children are extremely vulnerable to not only the normal every day peer pressures kids everywhere experience, but they have added anxieties growing up on Chicago's affluent North Shore.
As part of Mitzen's 'Know When to Say No' campaign, she offers parents the following tips:
•Never say "no, because I said so" - keep it simple and to the point.
•You are the boss - don't let your kids debate you.
•Don't be afraid of your children - saying no shows them you care.
•Stay in control of your children's homework, chores, etc. - watch over them.
•Walk your talk - follow through with what you say or you will lose their respect.
•Parents cannot counsel or tutor your children - they won't listen to you.
•Remove yourself from the situation - don't let feelings of guilt get in the way.
•Don't be reactive - use the 24 hour rule and come back with an answer.
Mitzen warns parents, "This is all a test. If you fail at being present in your kids' lives, you lose control forever. The 'say no to drugs' campaign has been imbedded in everyone's brain. Now we need to learn how to say no to our children and show them we care!"
To learn more about how parents can connect with their kids, please contact Robin Mitzen LC CADC at 847-401-5222, robin@yourlifecounselor.com or visit www.yourlifecounselor.com.