Imrem: Chicago Cubs fans need to just trust in Joe Maddon

Now that Major League Baseball has released the postseason schedule, a popular exercise is mapping the Chicago Cubs' playoff pitching rotation.

Ain't fantasy sports great?

Myriad weeks and games from October, the idea of planning is absurdly absurd.

Yet plumbers, doctors and sports writers wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats.

“Oh, no,” they groan, “what if I pick Jake Arrieta to pitch Game 1, he's shelled early and the Cubs lose the series?”

Relax, you goofs.

Here's a dirty little secret: You have no say in anything that happens.

All you can do is watch games with your fingers crossed, in your lucky athletic supporter, while partaking in the family superstition of eating chicken soup with chopsticks.

Otherwise, unless the Cubs are paying you millions of dollars for your advice, all decisions are above your pay grade.

Just wait for Cubs manager Joe Maddon, who isn't going to consult you about the Cubs' pitching rotation, to think of something.

Later you can rip him if the Cubs flop.

The only certainty is that Maddon will do what he wants to do.

What isn't certain is how exotic Maddon will be. Make no mistake about it, he will concoct something exotic.

The conventional isn't in Maddon's DNA. His mind is whirring as we speak, perhaps after a couple of bottles of wine from Binny's.

At some point Maddon publicly will reveal in detail his rationale. The explanation will be something like, “We went with (pick a pitcher) because his waist size fits opening games on chilly October weeknights when the barometric pressure is somewhere between up and down and his breaking ball is fluent in Mandarin.”

Nobody will understand what Maddon is talking about because we don't speak geniusese, but we'll all smile and nod knowingly.

Now let's guess what Maddon will come up with?

Lefty reliever Travis Wood might start the first game of the National League division series on the mound with Jake Arrieta in left field.

After retiring one batter, Wood will move to shortstop, Arrieta to the mound, Addison Russell to left field and Pat Hughes to TV.

Remember, you heard it here first.

Another possibility: Maddon won't shrink the rotation with one or two starters exiled to the bullpen.

The NLDS is a five-game series. The Cubs have an outstanding five-man rotation. Maddon could schedule each to start one of the games.

Game 1: Arrieta. Game 2: Kyle Hendricks. Game 3: Jon Lester. Game 4 (if necessary): Jason Hammel. Game 5 (if necessary): John Lackey.

The only problem is that Lackey would demolish the Cubs' gaudy new clubhouse if they lost in three or four games and rendered him unnecessary.

Speculating sure is fun, but in the end this might come down to what managers like to point out: These things have a way of resolving themselves.

Arrieta might average 7 walks per game through September. Jon Lester Surgery might replace Tommy John Surgery as the orthopedic rage. Hendricks and Hammel might remember that they're Hendricks and Hammel. Lackey might bite off his own head in anger at summer turning to autumn.

Whether circumstances or Joe Maddon dictate the postseason rotation, none of us will have a vote anyway.

Get some sleep and don't worry about it.

mimrem@dailyherald.com