Be aware of social cues that trigger overeating
Editor's note: This is the first column in a two-part series.
How many of us are watching our weight? That's what I figured - just about all of us.
I can hear this when people step up on the scale at my doctor's office. It usually starts with something like, "I was afraid I'd have to do this," or "This isn't going to be good." Some people just wince, or grimace, or sigh, or even groan.
All that comes before anybody has found out what their weight actually is. And even the slender among us seem to go through such pre-weigh-in anxiety.
Once the scale renders its final verdict, shock sets in. Many people just stare at the figures in disbelief. Others quickly hop off and then on again (perhaps hoping that they can do better with a second try?).
The shock is only temporary, however. My all-time favorite reaction was the woman who actually screamed with joy because she had lost the 10 pounds she wanted to. Other people mutter a comment like, "You've got to be kidding," or just glare at the scale angrily. And a lot of us just look depressed.
It's as if our appetite has a will of its own. It's a never-ending and often-losing battle most of us fight to control whatever it is that impels us toward overeating. And, yet, rationally, we know it is important to our whole-person health to maintain a body weight appropriate to our age, size and body type.
Supposedly we have some sort of internal monitor that will help us maintain a healthy weight. Unfortunately, most of us have managed to pretty well mess up this built-in regulator. We often get used to eating more than we need (not realizing that, the older we get, or the less active we are, the less we need).
Or we load up on sweets - wasted calories - and then overeat to get the nutrition our body requires. And there are a variety of other ways we can short circuit our natural weight control system.
There is likewise a significant social influence on when, what and how much we eat. In fact, much of the glue that holds our various relationships together is food centered.
Eating smooths in the beginning of a relationship as we struggle to get to know each other. We go out for lunch, or dinner, or a snack. Food gives us something to talk about. And chewing keeps our mouths busy when there's nothing to say.
Meals are significant even after the initial awkwardness wears off. They are often one of the few times in a day when family members regularly gather. They help us to keep in touch with friends and relatives when we invite them over or go out together.
Eating also can help us keep the lid on conflict. It's hard to argue with your mouth full. And how many times have you heard, "Not while I'm eating; it upsets my stomach."
Food is likewise frequently used as a gift. A special meal, a favorite dessert, a box of candy, a dinner out, are all ways we use to say we care.
Many holiday periods have some special food or foods that we use as part of our celebration. Eating - and often overeating - is part of the common ritual that brings us close.
All in all, food is involved in a majority of our social interactions. If you don't believe me, just try going a month without sharing a meal or a snack with a friend or family member. We've touched on the physical and social factors that influence our eating behavior. We've yet to mention the most pervasive - and dangerous - influence: our emotions.
Next week we'll talk about how our feelings about food can subvert even our best efforts to eat healthfully.
• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."