Fittest loser workouts give Annie the gift of healing
Culinary school taught me to anticipate and prepare for the unpredictable. Walking into the Push Fitness studio for my individual trainings, I felt confident in knowing all the obstacles and challenges looming on the horizon.
Three weeks into the contest, and much to this pastry chef's surprise, I realized I was woefully unprepared for events so far.
More than anything, I worked hard at steeling my emotions in the studio.
Returning to life in the real world after my son John's death required serious planning, just in case of a grief emergency. Why mess with success, I thought, jumping into the deep end of fitness training and following my well-worn path of mapping out the obstacles.
In lieu of just feeling John's presence around me, I saw bits and pieces of his life among the Push Fitness trainers. Josh Steckler, my fitness guide and owner, showed me John's passion and dedication to health and strength training. And, Josh is the age my son would have been this year.
Steve Amsden, with his military-style delivery, brings back memories of John's days in Navy boot camp up at Great Lakes. While training one of the other contestants, I'll catch Steve saying a phrase right out of a letter John penned to me. I try not to obviously eavesdrop.
Struggling with strength training for my upper body and focusing upon Josh's instructions, I'll pick up a glimpse of Matt Bell, who most physically resembles John.
Josh will be saying, "You got it Annie, give me three more, that's two, one and done!" and I'll follow my motions in the mirror with an image of my late son as comfort.
Looking to find any power left in my legs to get this body up and down the step-up with weights hanging from my arms, I hear Josh encouraging me to "Dig deep"; then I see Patrick Stille and his infectious smile. Embodying a youthful version of John, he takes me back to those California days as a novice parent.
My experiences at Push Fitness, and what I thought would be a challenging haunting of my late son's life, has shown itself to be a gift of healing.
As Josh said to me as I ran intervals on the treadmill, "You can't let life's challenges beat you down."
And so right on target he was, especially on the powerful role fitness training plays in healing our body, mind and soul.
There is no doubt I have a long road ahead in turning back my body clock after John's death.
Upper body weight training just about brings me down to my knees and my left side struggles to keep up with the dominant right. I'm fortunate not to bring serious past injuries to this challenge, but on some days my legs deeply "feel the burn."
Since losing my son, I have come to see that life always presents opportunities to heal our wounds, regardless of how painful and deep they run. I grabbed the chance this fitness contest offered me, and no matter how challenging the physical training tasks my body, I know the power of healing comes along with the pain.
As I left the Push Fitness studio, completing my third week of fitness training, I smiled and thought what a gift, to feel and now see my son's energy around me. I look forward to what other surprises await me, as I get to know the other trainers at Push Fitness.