Paris grief unites us on Facebook, then the 'unfriending' begins
The confessions are pouring in.
“I had to do it,” you hear a friend say. “I just couldn't stand him for one more second.”
That comment draws a response from a normally mild-mannered woman.
“I really didn't want to do it. I really didn't,” she says. “But I just couldn't sit back and take it anymore. I got rid of them all.”
And so begins what probably registers as the largest “unfriending” week in Facebook history.
Amid all the outpouring of universal humanity in the aftermath of the ISIS attacks on Paris emerges an even larger outpouring of universal stupidity.
Don't you have to unfriend the old high school buddy after his post claiming that President Obama is a Muslim terrorist who wants ISIS to take over Europe? And doesn't he have to unfriend you after your post about proudly voting for Obama, twice, and pointing out that U.S. forces did just kill a couple of ISIS leaders?
Many of our Facebook families are in as much disarray as the world seems to be in these days.
When we unfriend friends because of repugnant, ignorant, racist, naive and mind-numbingly stupid comments, it sometimes hurts on a personal level. You went to this person's wedding. You liked that baby photo she posted in 2013. You both forwarded good news about the Cubs' Kris Bryant. You root for the same college football team. But now, each of you knows how completely out-of-touch with the real world the other one is.
That's why everybody seems so angry this week. We know too much.
Oh, we might not know nearly enough about ISIS, Obama's foreign policy, Syrian refugees, the history of “Freedom Fries” or even Nazis. But we now know that we can't believe what our friends, co-workers and casual acquaintances are thinking. Do you finally unfriend the person whose comment about Islam seemed even more stupid than his comment about police shootings?
In the era before the Internet, you had warm memories of that nice old man who gave cookies to you and your brother every time your parents took you shopping. Today, you'd know better because you'd see his Facebook posting contrasting Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders. You wouldn't remember the cookies, because you couldn't stop thinking about what a buffoon he is. Who would have guessed that the parent you bonded with over at the school band fundraiser was so idiotically at odds with you on an issue you truly care about? Don't you wish that you remained blissfully ignorant about the co-worker who gave you money for your charity walk, after you saw her post about Gov. Bruce Rauner's ban on Syrian immigrants?
It's equally shocking to discover that your agree with a non-friend. Green Bay Packer quarterback Aaron Rodgers used his TV platform to note that he was “very disappointed” in a fan who yelled a slur against Muslims during a moment of silence on Sunday. “It's that kind of prejudicial ideology. I think, that puts us in the position that we're in today,” Rodgers scolded, which probably caused some angst for those Chicago Bears fans torn between liking Rodgers' political statement while still hating his Bears-beating philosophy.
In the old days, you didn't hear everyone's innermost thoughts unless he happened to be the blowhard at the end of the bar. Now, we all can be blowhards from our phones during commercial breaks. We can spout off on our laptop while waiting for the microwave to ding. We can post an offensive comment while sitting in the car waiting to drive the carpool. We can air our shocking ignorance from a tablet in the bathroom, which is enough to be unfriended by some friends purely for hygienic reasons.
The Internet was supposed to be this wonderful communication device that lets everyone connect and become more worldly. It can be that, of course. But it also can be the tool that limits our world and emboldens our stupidity. We now realize that the offensive thing that we would have been too embarrassed to say out loud actually is a view held by others. Of course, if we unfriend all those folks with extreme opinions that differ from ours, we will live in the same cloistered world that they do.
Knowledge is a good thing. Ignorance is not bliss. But we'd all be happier on social media if we knew less about our friends.