Elderday Center offers top 10 holiday survival tips

Usually you eagerly anticipate the holidays as a time of togetherness, laughter, sharing, and fun-filled memories. Unfortunately, holidays can also be a time of stress, loneliness, disappointment, and sadness. Because of changes that an aging family member and the family have experienced, there may be a sense of loss and sadness.

A caregiver may feel overwhelmed with trying to plan for the holidays and carrying out valued holiday traditions while at the same time caring for an older adult with Alzheimer's disease or other dementias.

If you are feeling guilty, angry, frustrated, or trapped, it may help to know that these feelings are normal and that you are not alone. The Elderday Center in Batavia offers the following suggestions as you make your holiday plans this year. Ease the burden of caregiving and make the holidays happy, memorable occasions for you and all of your family.

• Get the members of your household to make a list of holiday expectations (i.e. what they want to see, do, experience) and then share the lists and discuss. Next, get everyone to cut their list in half. This will help guarantee a relaxing, old-fashioned holiday.

• Make "things to do" lists to keep everyone organized.

• Get enough sleep. Fatigue can lead to stress, overeating, alcohol abuse, and numerous family problems.

• Simplify family traditions that are too much work (i.e. after tree decorating, spread a checkered cloth on the floor and have a picnic, forget the traditional five-course meal.)

• Avoid family tug of wars. Ideas include spending one holiday with one set of relatives and the other holiday with another set (alternate years), or choosing a day before each holiday for celebrating with relatives. Then spend the actual holidays at home, enjoying your own traditions.

• Consider extending holiday get-togethers through the first two weeks of January rather than cramming everything into November and December.

• Do something special for people you don't know. Call your local shelter or nursing home to see how you can help. Helping the less fortunate can help you put your own problems into perspective.

• If you live alone or are recently divorced or widowed, make special plans (i.e. holiday vacation) so you won't feel lonely or isolated. Plan a post-holiday activity that everyone can look forward to.

• Make a budget and stick to it, keeping in mind hidden expenses. Also, shop alone so you won't be distracted from your gift list and budget. To avoid crowds, shop in the morning or near dinner time.

• Take advantage of help from local resources, like Elderday Center, a safe place where your senior family member can come for therapeutic daily activities or caregivers can participate in the monthly support group on the third Thursday of each month from 1:30 to 3 p.m.

For information about Elderday Center's services or to schedule a tour of the facility and program, contact Mollie Blum at (630) 761-9750 or mollie.blum@elderdaycenter.org.

Remember the holidays are a time to celebrate the special times with the ones you love. So minimize those things that increase stress and frustration and replace them with simple, joyous things that can be shared and participated in by the entire family. You can all create new memories and traditions that are just as beautiful.