'Memorial Day is every day' for parents of Carol Stream soldier
Every Memorial Day, Michael and Jackie Gulczynski visit their son Lenny's grave, the dog tags of more than 20 of his fellow soldiers in hand.
They carefully hang each of the silver chains on a tree near the large, black headstone, their minds filled with thoughts of their son and what all the young fighters went through together in Iraq.
They sit together on the grass, reflecting. There are tears and laughs, good memories and bad.
Lenny, a 19-year-old private first class, died in September 2008 after being ejected from a Humvee in Baghdad.
A year later, the Gulczynskis invited members of his Army platoon to a memorial service at the Wheaton cemetery where he is buried. They asked the men to bring along their dog tags, so copies could be made and brought to the gravesite twice a year: on Memorial Day and Veterans Day.
“When I hear that sound of all those dog tags hitting each other, they're together,” Jackie said.
During the rest of the year, when the dog tags aren't on display, the family makes sure an American flag is always near the grave. They say that isn't necessarily the case for other veterans though.
“The flags will go away (after Memorial Day) and the people will leave and the pain is still there,” Jackie said of what Gold Star families go through. “We deal with this every day.”
For years, Memorial Day was mostly a day of barbecuing and watching military movies on TV for the Gulczynskis.
Michael, who also served in the Army, said it held a little more significance for him, as he grew up taking drives to the cemetery with his father, also a veteran, on Memorial Day. He tried to teach his kids the importance of the day, but it has never held as much meaning as it has since Lenny's passing.
“Memorial Day is every day,” Michael said, adding that Lenny is the first thing on his mind each morning and last thing on his mind before he goes to sleep. “It's always there.”
Lenny, a 2007 Bartlett High School graduate, loved being a soldier. He had a big smile and hearty laugh, but he was very serious about serving his country, Michael said.
Lenny's younger brother, Mike, wants to follow in his footsteps. He will be heading to West Point this fall, a decision he made after being accepted to Loyola University, where he was set to play volleyball. The reason, in part, is because he wants to honor Lenny.
“When he told me he was going to try to get into West Point I told him he would make me the proudest mother,” Jackie said. “And then it kind of hit. I can't get past him going to school because I can't think about that. I can't think about what could happen. And I would hope God wouldn't be that cruel to me, to us.”
Michael and Jackie said their hope is that people across the country take just a few minutes Monday to really reflect on the sacrifices soldiers like Lenny have made for their freedom, along with the pain their families have to live with every day.
“These guys are real people. Their names are in stone, but there's a face behind that name and there's a story behind that person and there's a family that's hurting,” Jackie said, choking back tears. “On Memorial Day he's got a face, he's got a name. Take a second to remember that.”